Why Friends Are So Important: Social Connections And Happiness
Friends. Can’t stand them, but can’t live without them? All jokes aside, humans are inherently social beings and there are many benefits that social connections bestow upon our well-being.
Our well-being in general will be the topic of the following blog posts (a deep dive into human physical, emotional and spiritual needs), so let’s take things easy for now and celebrate Valentine’s Day.
What better time to be grateful for our closest social connections?
If it’s not Valentine’s Day when you are reading this, don’t worry. The message here is more about the importance of social connections and less so about Valentine’s Day.
Use Your Connections For Growth
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity (if not an obligation) to treat that special someone with gifts, flowers and chocolate. If you have a special someone, you should definitely celebrate. Celebrate, that you, together, have the opportunity to grow into the greatest version of yourselves. Declare who and what you wish to be and then support each other on that journey.
If, on the other hand, you are single, this might be a stressful or depressing time of the year. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with you and things will not be this way forever. Everything changes all the time.
It’s also completely normal to feel sadness, anger, frustration or any other feeling you might have. Please don’t try to repress those feelings.
Instead, just express them fully. Feel the feelings. Express them (push them out). That is a natural and healthy way to deal with them. Then, once you have expressed the feelings, you can decide whether they serve you or not.
Or if you are one of those people, who just doesn’t care about the whole Valentine’s Day fuss, and think it’s over commercialized just to get you to buy stuff… That’s fine too.
Your Most Important Connection Is The One With Yourself
What I’m getting at is this: We should value all of our social connections, not just the romantic one(s). Furthermore, we should appreciate our relationships every day, not just on one day of the year. Most of all, we should value the one relationship that we often neglect, but really it is the most important relationship of our life: The relationship we have with ourself.
Celebrate who you are. You are perfect and you most definitely are enough.
But let’s not deviate too far from the subject. This post is about social connections e.g. our relationships with other people. Although you will come to see, that valuing the relationship with yourself will help you build relationships with others.
Recently I was at my friend’s 40th birthday party. Not only was it amazing to see my friends after months of “social distancing”, but the event was so well organized. Food, sauna, drinks, even live music. It was an amazing party overall.
The best part for me though, was that the live music was courtesy of my old band. It was so much fun to see and hear the guys play covers and our old songs.
So even though I left the band years ago, they found a new guitar player and kept playing.
Together Things Are More Meaningful
That got me into a conversation with one of my friends. Actually, he asked me if I sometimes miss playing in the band.
“I do sometimes miss playing”, I replied. “But after years and years of being in a band and not really getting anywhere… No gigs, the same old songs, I just lost motivation.”
I continued: “That’s what I admire about you and the band. Despite playing the same old songs year after year, not making anything new, you still keep going.”
The answer I received was this: “You see, it’s not so much about playing music, it’s more about doing something together with friends”.
That was one of those “show stopping” moments for me. Not the least because I had just spent the previous days writing about human emotional needs. Can you guess what is one of the most important needs for us humans to fulfill? It’s doing something meaningful with others. We have the need to belong and the need for our lives to have meaning. We’ll take a closer look at this in the next blog posts.
Another reason why this was such an important realization, was that even though I still play guitar and compose music (and enjoy it a great deal), it was always the “doing something together” that was the fun part. I had just let that truth be clouded by distractions such as the need to improve as a musician.
Social Connections Bring Happiness
That answer by my friend is what inspired me to write this blogpost. But this is of course just my view on the subject at hand. I’m not one to use categorisations, but I still I would describe myself as an extrovert. I thrive on social connections and interacting with other people really lights me up. That’s why I value social connections and have fun with my friends as often as possible.
Is the importance of social connections just my subjective take on the matter, or is there more to this?
As it happens, while writing this I just stumbled upon this article by Dr. Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. Science Director at Stanford University. In the article, she states that social connection improves physical health and mental and emotional well-being.
There’s apparently quite a bit of research behind this statement. Some studies even show that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. Wow. Who knew?
I encourage you to check the article, it’s a short one and there’s a cool infographic at the end with useful tips about how to connect to thrive.
4 Tips For Beneficial Social Connections
- If you are happy from within, you are also more likely to feel connected. Probably the most important statement made in the article just so happens to coincide with what I’m trying to point out on my blog and website.
- Be happy first, then you will find it easier to make new friends and acquaintances. Coming back to where we started, the most important relationship you have, is the one you have with yourself. Take care of yourself first, be happy, then all the other pieces will fall in place.
- The benefits come from subjective sense of connection, not the amount of friends you have. If you feel like you are an introvert, find it hard to make friends, or have no friends, you can still have the benefits of social connection. Compassion, volunteering, giving and sharing all create a sense of connection and purpose.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are lonely or sad, try reaching out to people. Research shows that people are willing to help if we ask for help.
Conclusion
Use any and all of your relationships for the means of personal growth.
Celebrate, that you, together, have the opportunity to grow into the greatest version of yourselves. Declare who and what you wish to be and then support each other on that journey.
If you feel like you lack meaningful connections, know that it’s completely normal to feel sadness, anger, frustration or any other feeling you might have. Instead of repressing your feelings, express them fully. Once you have expressed the feelings, you can decide whether they serve you or not.
Your hobbies and activities are not so much about the thing you are doing, as they are about doing something together with friends.
social connection improves physical health and mental and emotional well-being, while lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
