Happiness for Beginners
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Happiness for Beginners: Discovering the Secrets to a Happy Life

Welcome to “Happiness for Beginners”.

In this blog post, we will explore the essential elements that contribute to one’s happiness. We will delve into the factors that make people feel content and fulfilled in their lives.

Whether you are a beginner in the pursuit of happiness or you have been seeking ways to enhance your well-being throughout your life, this guide is here to assist you in discovering the essential principles of happiness and guiding you towards practical tools to cultivate it in your life.

But what is happiness, and how can we find it?

Happiness isn’t a mystical state reserved for the chosen few; it’s an attainable goal that can be reached by anyone – It is, in fact, your natural state of being. 

Happiness is the “default” state. You are supposed to be happy, but there are things that block you from feeling this innate emotion.

From the power of gratitude and mindfulness to the importance of meaningful relationships and physical well-being, this guide will unpack the essential concepts and strategies that can transform your perspective and elevate your overall contentment.

Happiness is a skill that can be learned and cultivated, and this guide is your roadmap to get started.

So, whether you’re looking for a beginner’s guide to happiness, or seeking to deepen your understanding, let’s embark on this exciting journey together, as we explore the secrets to a happier, more fulfilling life.

1. What is Happiness: Definition and Explanation

Happiness, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a state of well-being and contentment.” It is a feeling of joy, delight, and satisfaction, often accompanied by a sense of peace and fulfillment. 

No surprises so far.

However, it’s important to understand that happiness is not reliant on external factors;

it is a deeply personal and intrinsic emotion.

Happiness is not merely a fleeting reaction to external circumstances. It is also not a reward that you get for achieving your goals.

Happiness doesn’t magically bloom when you accumulate enough material wealth. No, happiness is something completely different.

Happiness is your natural state of being. 

That’s right.

Happiness is not a reaction or a “reward”. It is the “default” feeling you are supposed to feel when you are calm, at peace, and focused on the moment. 

Happiness Is Your "default" state of being

It would seem logical that our default state or feeling is neutral.

Our world is based on the relationships between opposites. Without one, the other cannot exist.

For instance, there can be no hot without cold, no tall without short, no light without dark, and no happiness without unhappiness.

So, it would seem that happiness and unhappiness lie at the opposite ends of a spectrum and that there is a somewhat neutral state in between.

But that is not the case.

Just like between hot and cold there’s a temperature that’s not too hot, not too cold, but just right; Warm, cozy, relaxing, pleasing, there’s a feeling between absolute bliss (happiness) and crushing depression (unhappiness).

Imagine a bath filled with water that’s just the right temperature; You could stay there forever.

That’s the default state.

That’s the point in between the extremes.

That’s your natural state of being – happiness: the point in the middle of the extremities of our emotions, and you don’t have to go to great lengths to find happiness.

You can just let go and relax, and you’ll be there – in the middle of it all – happy and content.

Then, how do you get to that state of being? In other words: How does happiness happen? How do you relax and let go to find happiness?

The answer is in the question: By letting go of everything that you think you need to be happy, and by learning to deal with (and let go of) any negative emotions, thus uncovering your innate happiness.

The difference between Happiness and joy

Happiness vs Joy – What’s the difference? 

Happiness and joy, often used interchangeably, have a critical distinction. Happiness is an emotion, an innate, automatic response to a stimulus that is experienced both physiologically and psychologically. Conversely, joy is a feeling, a subjective experience arising from the interpretation of emotions.

Emotions are automatic responses to a stimulus or event that are experienced both physiologically (in your body) and psychologically (in your mind). Emotions can be triggered by a variety of stimuli, such as external events, internal thoughts or memories, or even bodily sensations.

Feelings are subjective experiences that arise from the interpretation of emotions. They can be influenced by thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences. Feelings are usually less intense than emotions and can last longer. For example, the event of losing someone dear to triggers the emotion of grief. This emotion can cause you to experience a range of feelings such as sadness, melancholy, despair, or hopelessness.

To put it concisely, happiness is an emotion while joy is a feeling.

Therefore, happiness is an emotion: Your “first thought” and the way you naturally interpret the events in your life. When this emotion reaches your conscious mind (you may even say “…on second thought…), you interpret it based on past events, thoughts, and beliefs. Happiness then manifests itself as a feeling of joy, peace, bliss, excitement, and many other things.

Happiness vs Joy

2. Happiness is a Choice

Happiness is not just an emotion that arrives and departs at the whim of external circumstances.

It is a conscious choice that you can make, a decision that empowers you to uncover the happiness within.

Perhaps surprisingly, you have the ability to consciously decide how you want to feel. 

By learning to observe and select your thoughts with care, you can extend this practice to your emotions as well. It may take some effort and a shift in perspective, but it is indeed possible.

External events may exert influence, but the power of choice remains paramount. Indeed, happiness is a choice you can actively embrace.

By training yourself to focus on positive thoughts and reducing stress, you can embark on a journey to discover the innate happiness that resides within you.

Why to do it: The Power of Choosing Happiness

Happiness is not a fleeting emotion that is dependent on external circumstances. Instead, it is a conscious choice that empowers you to uncover your innate happiness.

Research has shown that individuals can take control of their own happiness, making it a crucial aspect of overall well-being.

What to do: Key Components of Choosing Happiness

Choosing happiness involves embracing several vital components, including opting for positive thoughts, focusing on the positive aspects of life, accepting the past and letting go of negative memories, and practicing forgiveness and gratitude.

How to do it: Embracing Happiness Through Conscious Choices

  • Choosing Positive Thoughts: Set a positive tone for your emotional state by consciously steering your thoughts toward optimism and constructive thinking.
  • Focusing on the Positive: Foster happiness by seeing the silver linings in challenging situations, concentrating on potential benefits, and shifting your perspective.
  • Acceptance and Letting Go: Liberate yourself by choosing to accept the past and release negative memories, creating space for happiness to flourish.
  • Forgiveness and Gratitude: Make transformative choices by embracing forgiveness over resentment and gratitude over entitlement. These decisions nurture inner peace and contentment, contributing to overall happiness. Your journey to happiness is a path of self-discovery and self-empowerment, where the destination is a consciously crafted, more fulfilling life.
The difference between happiness and joy

3. Practice Gratitude

This should have possibly been the first entry of our little “happiness for beginners” article.

If there’s one thing you can do for your happiness and well-being, consider embracing a daily practice of gratitude.

Gratitude not only acts as a key to life satisfaction but also stands out as the most significant predictor of healthy relationships, mental sanity, and even physical health, as supported by research. 

In essence, enhancing your overall quality of life may be as straightforward as dedicating a few moments each day to reflect on the things you’re thankful for.

Why to practice: The Significance of Gratitude

Gratitude plays a pivotal role in life satisfaction and serves as a profound predictor of healthy relationships, mental well-being, and even physical health, as substantiated by research.

It has the power to enhance the overall quality of life by encouraging moments of reflection on the things one is thankful for.

What to do: The Core Ideas Behind Gratitude

Gratitude involves acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life.

A potent way to cultivate gratitude is through maintaining a gratitude journal, where you document daily expressions of thankfulness.

Research shows that individuals who consistently practiced gratitude experienced heightened happiness, reduced depression, and decreased stress. This practice also led to increased physical activity and fewer doctor visits.

Incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as journaling and meditation, can yield similar positive results.

How to do it: Applying Gratitude to Daily Life

Dedicate a few moments each day to focus on the things you’re thankful for.

Start a gratitude journal, where you document your daily blessings. Reflect on your entries regularly to enhance your sense of gratitude.

Embrace mindfulness practices, like journaling and meditation, to further cultivate gratitude.

By doing so, you’ll not only attract positive emotions but also promote better physical health through the immune and endocrine systems. Gratitude acts as a natural stress reliever, equipping you to handle uncertainties and anxiety-inducing situations with greater ease.

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    4. Mindfulness

    Next up in our little guide titled “Happiness for Beginners”: Mindfulness.

    Mindfulness, a simple yet profound practice, offers a gateway to mental and physical well-being in our fast-paced, distraction-filled world.

    This practice invites us to embrace the present moment with an open heart and a curious mind, free from any judgment.

    By doing so, we can unlock the numerous benefits that mindfulness has to offer, including

    • Reduced stress
    • Improved emotional regulation
    • Heightened focus
    • Physical well-being, such as lowered blood pressure and enhanced immune function.

    Why to Do it: The Significance of Mindfulness

    Mindfulness serves as a critical practice in our bustling, distraction-filled world, offering a pathway to mental and physical well-being.

    By embracing the present moment without judgment, mindfulness unlocks a host of benefits, including reduced stress, improved emotional regulation, heightened focus, and even enhanced physical well-being. 

    This practice paves the way for inner happiness to surface by promoting a state of low stress and heightened awareness.

    What to do: The Core Ideas Behind Mindfulness

    Mindfulness is a simple yet profound practice that encourages us to fully engage with the present moment. It involves observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment, freeing us from the grip of past regrets and future anxieties.

    By acting as a bridge between the past and future while grounding us in the present, mindfulness provides a stable anchor for our thoughts and emotions.

    The result is a state of relaxation, healing, and happiness that benefits both the mind and body.

    How to do it: Applying Mindfulness to Daily Life

    Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine by setting aside time to be fully present in the moment, observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

    Practice redirecting your focus away from past mistakes and future uncertainties, allowing your mind to find clarity and tranquility.

    Imagine mindfulness as a bridge that keeps you rooted in the present, offering a stable anchor for your thoughts and emotions.

    Embrace the relaxed, healing, and happy state it brings to both your mind and body, allowing you to let go of the past and quell anxiety about the future, ultimately experiencing profound peace and restoration.

    5. Healthy Relationships

    When considering what makes a happy life, good relationships consistently emerge as one of the three main pillars, alongside financial success and good health.

    Whether it’s the bond with a romantic partner, family members, friends, or even colleagues, the connections we forge hold immense power to shape our well-being and sense of fulfillment. 

    Why are relationships important: The Significance of Relationships in Individual Happiness

    When it comes to the pursuit of a happy life, strong relationships consistently emerge as one of the primary pillars, alongside financial success and good health.

    But why are relationships so essential to our happiness?

    Well, when we enter into relationships, we often do so with the expectation that they will bring us happiness. After all, why else would we choose to spend our time with others? It’s not to make us miserable, that’s for sure.

    What to do: The Key Idea of Relationships

    Whether it’s the bonds we form with romantic partners, family members, friends, or even colleagues, these connections possess remarkable power in shaping our well-being and sense of fulfillment.

    Our relationships aren’t just about coexistence; they are profound sources of enrichment and contentment in our lives.

    They offer solace in times of hardship, celebrate our triumphs, and provide comforting embraces in moments of need.

    Beyond this, relationships offer a platform for the exchange of ideas and emotions, the sharing of experiences, and the freedom to be our authentic selves.

    How it works: Putting the Power of Relationships into Practice

    Finding happiness in relationships is not merely a goal; it’s an integral part of our human experience.

    The depth and quality of our connections give us a sense of belonging and purpose. Relationships teach us valuable lessons in empathy, understanding, and the joy of shared moments, making a significant contribution to our quest for a meaningful and fulfilling life.

    To harness the power of relationships, we must nurture them, invest time in them, and prioritize the bonds that enrich our lives.

    Happiness vs Joy

    6. Pursuit of Meaning

    Having a sense of purpose and finding meaning in your actions appears to be fundamental to our human experience.

    Purpose is the “why” behind our thoughts, words, and actions. It defines us and answers the most fundamental question of all: “Who am I?”

    Why it matters: The Significance of Pursuing Meaning

    Having a sense of purpose and finding meaning in your actions is an essential aspect of our human experience.

    Research has even demonstrated that a lack of understanding about why you do things, essentially meaninglessness, can lead to a subconscious struggle against your deepest values and desires.

    This internal conflict can result in mental exhaustion, anxiety, and, in severe cases, depression. Discovering and living your purpose may hold the key to addressing a range of life’s challenges.

    What is it about: The Key Idea of Pursuing Meaning

    The concept of “purpose” often evokes images of grand, world-changing missions, such as uniting nations or addressing global issues like climate change.

    While these grand purposes are indeed commendable, it’s important to recognize that purpose doesn’t always have to be of such an immense scale.

    It doesn’t have to impact the entire world; it’s enough if it holds profound personal meaning for you.

    We are talking about your personal purpose, and it’s about how you choose to express it.

    How to find your purpose: Applying the Pursuit of Meaning in Practice

    In your pursuit of defining your purpose, remember that it’s not about the grandiosity of your mission.

    What matters most is the personal significance it holds for you and the positive impact it can have on the lives of those you encounter along the way.

    The beauty of living your purpose lies not only in its personal meaning but also in the remarkable ways it can touch and uplift the lives of others, creating a ripple effect of goodness.

    So, whether your purpose is vast or intimate, your journey to discover it is a path to fulfillment and a meaningful life.

    7. Dealing with Emotions Healthily

    Another gem in the happiness for beginners guide: Emotional freedom.

    I wish I’d known how to identify, express, and deal with emotions healthily years ago. It would have spared me so much grief, anger, anxiety, and depression.

    So this is a critical concept to understand; Please read mindfully.

    Why: The Importance of Emotion Management

    Managing our emotions is a critical aspect of our lives, yet it doesn’t always involve the conventional idea of “dealing” with them.

    Instead, it’s far more beneficial to perceive our emotions as they were intended: as signals guiding us through life’s intricacies.

    What to do: The Key Idea of Emotion Management

    Emotions are intrinsic, natural responses to the unfolding events in our lives. They come in diverse forms, spanning the spectrum from positivity to negativity, and they vary for each person and situation.

    Think of them as an internal compass designed to reveal what to embrace and what to avoid.

    Every emotion, whether it’s a burst of joy or a wave of sadness, serves a purpose – to assist, not harm us.

    However, many of us are never taught how to navigate this emotional compass effectively.

    As a result, we often resort to ignoring or suppressing our feelings, which can lead to the accumulation of unaddressed negative emotions, eventually manifesting as harmful conditions like depression, rage, or jealousy.

    How to do it: Implementing Emotion Management

    The key to dealing with emotions is not to “deal” with them in the conventional sense, but to accept them and express them.

    Emotions, both positive and negative, should not be suppressed but fully acknowledged and experienced.

    Recognize that negative emotions like anger, for instance, need not be harmful to others, and seeking help to manage them is perfectly acceptable.

    Emotions are entirely natural and meant to aid us in navigating challenging situations. It’s high time we stop treating them as inconveniences or distractions and acknowledge their invaluable role in our lives.

    By embracing our emotions, allowing them to happen, experiencing them fully, and expressing them, we unlock their potential as valuable tools in our pursuit of a happy and successful life.

    8. Physical Well-Being

    Good physical well-being is fundamental to leading a happy life.

    Your body serves as your vehicle for exploring and experiencing physical life. Without a healthy body, your ability to enjoy life and be happy is limited.

    Your mind and body are closely intertwined, and what affects one inevitably impacts the other. Thus, if you wish to maintain a healthy, happy mind, a healthy body is crucial too.

    Why it matters: The Foundation of Physical Well-Being for a Happy Life

    Physical well-being forms the bedrock of a happy life.

    Your body is the vessel through which you navigate and experience the physical world.

    Without a healthy body, your capacity to relish life and find happiness is inherently limited.

    What to do: The Core Ideas for Nurturing Physical Well-Being

    • Hydration: Start your day by hydrating with a minimum of 17 oz of water. There’s no fixed quantity of water you must consume daily; listen to your body’s signals. Prioritize clean, preferably filtered water.
    • Vitamin D: Vitamin D is an essential component of our overall well-being. It plays a crucial role in maintaining our energy levels, strengthening our defense against illnesses, and regulating essential functions like melatonin production for quality sleep. Our bodies synthesize this vitamin when exposed to sunlight, which makes it an indispensable natural resource. However, in regions with limited sunlight, particularly during the dark winter months in the northern hemisphere, obtaining adequate amounts of vitamin D can be challenging. Therefore, it is highly recommended to supplement to ensure optimal levels of this vital nutrient. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to a range of health issues, making it essential to take proactive measures to maintain its balance.
    • Quality Sleep: Quality sleep is paramount for overall well-being. It rejuvenates your body and mind, facilitating detoxification, repair, and readiness for life’s challenges. Create an optimal sleep environment by reducing electronic device use before bedtime, maintaining a cool and dark bedroom, and refraining from eating at least four hours before sleep. Supplements like lemongrass and vitamin D can enhance sleep quality.
    • Balanced Diet: While a nutritious diet is essential, intermittent fasting or time-restricted eating can offer substantial benefits, including fat loss, cellular repair, reduced inflammation, and a decreased risk of type 2 diabetes. Aim to consume around 7 cups of vegetables daily, and limit fruit intake due to its sugar content. Reduce Omega-6 intake and supplement with vital Omega-3, found in fish and quality supplements. Drink water when thirsty, and add lemon for kidney stone prevention, vitamin C, and digestive aid.
    • Regular Exercise: Exercise promotes stress relief and overall well-being. Incorporate daily activities like taking the stairs or walking instead of driving to support your health. Prioritize resistance training, alongside aerobic exercise, to increase muscle mass, enhance longevity, and manage weight effectively. Exercise also triggers the release of BDNF, a mood-boosting molecule.
    • Rest and Relaxation: Relaxation is as pivotal as physical activity. Practice deep breathing, meditation, and explore natural remedies like green tea, lemongrass, and ashwagandha to alleviate anxiety and stress. Additionally, allocate time for enjoyable activities and hobbies, providing the essential space for unwinding and enhancing your overall well-being.

    How to do it: Applying Physical Well-Being to Your Daily Life

    • Hydration: Begin your day with 17 oz of clean, filtered water, and remember to drink when you’re thirsty throughout the day.
    • Vitamin D: In regions with limited sunlight, especially during the darker months in the northern hemisphere, it’s essential to secure adequate vitamin D levels. The key “how” involves taking supplements to ensure you meet your vitamin D needs, promoting overall well-being and a healthier, happier life.
    • Quality Sleep: Create an ideal sleep environment by reducing screen time before bed, ensuring your bedroom is cool and dark, and refraining from eating at least four hours before sleep. Consider supplements like lemongrass and vitamin D for improved sleep.
    • Balanced Diet: Consume around 7 cups of vegetables daily, limit fruit intake due to sugar content, reduce Omega-6 consumption, and consider Omega-3 supplements. Stay hydrated by drinking water when you’re thirsty, and enhance it with lemon for added benefits.
    • Regular Exercise: Incorporate physical activity into your daily life by opting for activities like taking the stairs and walking. Prioritize both resistance and aerobic training to promote muscle mass and well-being. Exercise also releases mood-boosting BDNF.
    • Rest and Relaxation: Make time for relaxation in your daily routine. Practice deep breathing, meditation, and explore natural remedies for stress relief. Additionally, indulge in enjoyable activities and hobbies to unwind and enhance your overall well-being.

    Conclusion: Happiness Is an Ongoing Journey

    Of course, there’s more to happiness than the concepts presented here. 

    For example, cultivating positive thinking, engaging in spiritual practice, and giving back to your community all play an important role in your overall happiness.

    But this guide “Happiness for Beginners” is meant to serve as a starting point. It is a place to start and familiarize yourself with some of the most important concepts.

    As we reach the conclusion of this guide, it’s also beneficial to remember that happiness is an ongoing journey.

    Life, by its very nature, is a roller coaster of ups and downs. Challenges, setbacks, and unexpected turns are bound to cross our paths, regardless of who we are or where we come from.

    But here’s the real secret: Happiness doesn’t mean the absence of these ups and downs.

    Instead, it’s the art of experiencing happiness for longer periods and bouncing back from adversity more quickly. It’s about building resilience and embracing the ebb and flow of life with open arms.

    Now, the real adventure begins. The journey to happiness is a lifelong endeavor, one filled with self-discovery, growth, and transformation. It’s about cherishing the good times, learning from the tough ones, and continuously fine-tuning your ability to find joy, even in the midst of life’s challenges.

    So, as you take your next steps, remember that happiness is not a destination, but a companion for the road. Embrace it, nurture it, and share it with others. 

    Allow happiness to guide you through the peaks and valleys, lighting up your life in beautiful, unexpected ways.

    As you embark on your ongoing journey toward happiness, know that you have the knowledge and power within you to experience life’s full spectrum, savoring the highs and enduring the lows. 

    Through it all, may your heart be open, your spirit resilient, and your pursuit of happiness unceasing.

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      Disclaimer

      The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only.  The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.

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