How Do I Make Myself Happy? 3 Keys to Lasting Happiness
How do I make myself happy? That is the question so many of us ask.
After all, happiness represents the ultimate goal in life and the truest measure of well-being. This concept can be found in various books, articles, and teachings on happiness, well-being, and positive psychology.
It’s a widely accepted principle in the field of happiness studies, and it underlies the idea that genuine and lasting well-being is often associated with a sense of happiness and life satisfaction.
But how? How to be happy?
I have good news for you, fellow seeker of happiness. Achieving lasting happiness is not an impossible task and can be done by adopting a holistic approach.
It involves understanding the reasons that contribute to your happiness and taking intentional steps to cultivate it.
During my 20 years of searching for lasting happiness, I have narrowed it down to three key steps:
1. The first step is to identify the sources of unhappiness in your life, which may include poor mental health, the constant pursuit of external rewards, or the feeling that nothing is ever enough.
2. To enhance your happiness, changing your perspective on what happiness truly means is essential. Instead of constantly seeking it outside, recognize that happiness is an internal state of being, your natural default. By shifting your perspective and acknowledging that happiness resides within you, you can reduce your dependence on external factors for overall well-being.
3. Mindfulness is a crucial aspect of the journey towards happiness. Practicing mindfulness helps you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. By cultivating this awareness, you can consciously choose to redirect negative or unpleasant thoughts toward positivity.
Therefore the question “How do I make myself happy” reveals the answer:
You must mindfully seek the answer from within, for it is you who knows yourself, your dreams, desires, fears, and limitations.
In this blog post, I will answer the most common questions about happiness (or rather the lack of it): How do I make myself happy? Why Can’t I just be happy? Why do I feel like I’m never satisfied? And How can I enjoy life again?
In the answer to that final question, I will reveal the 3 keys to happiness and point you toward a tool for taking happiness into your own hands.
Why can’t I just be happy?
The answer is that we often mistakenly believe that material possessions can buy happiness. However, true happiness depends on our mental health. Stress often leads to anxiety and depression, which can hinder our ability to be happy.
Society’s expectations and our own feelings of inadequacy can also fuel constant dissatisfaction. To achieve genuine happiness, we must tackle both our internal and external obstacles.
Many people wonder why they can’t just be happy, including me. This question was pervasive for many years in my life. No matter what I achieved, what I did, or what I got, I just couldn’t be happy.
It was puzzling, because, by my standards, I had done everything right. I had the career, the home, the car, the money, everything that I believed was needed for happiness.
But I wasn’t happy at all. Both mentally and physically, I was miserable and felt quite the opposite of happiness.
Over time, this led to a shift in perspective: I realized that I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
As I mentioned earlier, society’s expectations and our own feelings of inadequacy can fuel constant dissatisfaction.
Here are three underlying reasons that shed light on this persistent dissatisfaction:
The Pursuit of Materialism
Society often tells us that happiness is just a purchase away. However, this desire for economic or materialistic rewards can be a deceptive mirage.
You cannot buy genuine, lasting happiness with possessions. True contentment isn’t found in the latest gadgets or lavish vacations.
In fact, one of the keys to lasting happiness lies in releasing the relentless pursuit of material wealth and prioritizing happiness as a central life goal.
By nurturing happiness from within, you can unlock the potential for a more fulfilling life, often leading to unexpected wealth along the way.
Mental Health Struggles
In the quest for happiness, poor mental health can act as a formidable barrier. Numerous studies have shown that mental health is the linchpin of individual happiness.
The relentless stress of modern life frequently breeds anxiety and depression. These mental health challenges can cast a shadow over our pursuit of happiness.
The issue often stems from misconceptions about what truly makes us happy.
The beliefs we hold about happiness may be fundamentally flawed, causing us to chase an elusive and unattainable ideal.
Endless Discontent
A sense of “not enough” perpetually looms over most of us.
Regardless of our achievements or possessions, we grapple with the feeling of inadequacy.
This pervasive sense of insufficiency stems from the unrealistic expectations placed upon us by society, parents, media, and more. It’s as though we are pressured to fit into a one-size-fits-all mold that doesn’t align with our unique individuality.
This dissonance between societal expectations and our authentic selves can result in chronic stress, anxiety, sadness, and even depression.
We often lack the tools to navigate these feelings in a healthy manner, further complicating the pursuit of genuine happiness.
Why do I feel like I’m never satisfied?
The feeling of constant dissatisfaction often stems from societal pressures, unrealistic expectations, and an insatiable desire for more. Achieving lasting happiness requires self-acceptance and a shift toward internal sources of fulfillment.
So the reason is mainly that we expect to find happiness in external events and material possessions instead of trying to cultivate our innate happiness.
This happens because of what we have learned. We are told by our teachers, mentors, news, social media, and everyone else, that there is always something that we need to be happy. We can only find happiness by pursuing our goals, whether material or immaterial.
Therefore, the feeling of never being satisfied is caused by societal expectations.
The feeling of perpetual discontent, leaving one to question why they’re never satisfied, is rooted in the following modern societal factors:
Unrealistic Expectations
Our world bombards us with images of perfection, success, and unattainable standards, often propagated by media, advertising, and social platforms.
These external influences set an impossibly high bar for what a “successful” and “fulfilled” life should look like.
As a result, you may constantly compare yourself to these artificial benchmarks, leading to a chronic sense of inadequacy.
The gap between where you are and where you believe you should be can be disheartening and unsettling.
Social Pressure
Society exerts significant pressure on individuals to conform to predefined roles and ideals.
Whether it’s the pursuit of a particular career, the pressure to meet conventional relationship milestones, or societal norms dictating the definition of “success,” these external expectations can generate feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction.
Struggling to meet these expectations can lead to self-doubt and unhappiness.
Lack of Self-Acceptance
A fundamental component of lasting happiness is self-acceptance, which often eludes those who grapple with perpetual dissatisfaction.
Many of us are plagued by a sense of “not being enough.”
We feel inadequate, flawed, or undeserving, further exacerbating our inability to find contentment. This lack of self-acceptance can be a significant barrier to experiencing genuine happiness.
The Illusion of More
In our consumer-driven culture, the pursuit of more—more possessions, more achievements, more experiences—can become an insatiable appetite.
It’s a vicious cycle where the acquisition of one thing merely fuels the desire for the next. This insatiable thirst for “more” can be a primary reason for ongoing discontent.
Absence of Fulfillment from Within
True and lasting satisfaction often eludes those who seek it solely in external circumstances or possessions.
Contentment is an inside job, rooted in self-awareness, gratitude, and a sense of purpose.
When these internal sources of fulfillment are neglected or overlooked, you may find yourself constantly yearning for external validation or material gains, which can never provide the depth of satisfaction you seek.
Understanding that the quest for lasting happiness involves addressing these underlying issues can be the first step in breaking free from the cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction.
By re-evaluating your expectations, practicing self-acceptance, and focusing on the internal sources of fulfillment, you can inch closer to the genuine and enduring contentment you’ve been yearning for.
How can I enjoy life again?
Now that you understand the factors that make you unhappy and unfulfilled, you can start to turn these negative sentiments into positive ones. In this section, we will examine how to feel satisfied and enjoy life again.
In the pursuit of rediscovering how to enjoy life again, there are some crucial principles that can guide you towards a more joyful existence.
Remember, that happiness is not something that is elusive, but rather, it is our natural inner state of being.
It is the “default” that is always there. It is like a hidden treasure waiting to be uncovered.
This is where the three keys to happiness come in.
(These are discussed in-depth in my book “Happiness on Demand: 3 Simple Steps to Overcome Negative Thoughts and Emotions, and Create a Life Filled with Joy”.)
To find this hidden treasure, utilize the 3 keys to lasting happiness.
What are the 3 keys to happiness?
1. Understand what’s making you unhappy. To find happiness, it is important to recognize that it is your natural inner state of being. This means that the key to uncovering happiness lies in eliminating the things that make you unhappy, such as poor mental health, seeking happiness in external factors (such as economic or materialistic rewards), and feeling that nothing is ever enough.
2. Change your perspective on happiness. Happiness is an internal state that should be the default. Instead of searching externally, uncover the happiness within.
3. Choose happiness consciously. It is possible to develop the skill of being mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and actions in every moment, and then intentionally turn them positive if you find them unpleasant. This skill is achievable by anyone with enough consistent practice.
These three keys provide a strong foundation for transforming your outlook on life and well-being. By understanding the factors that contribute to unhappiness and taking steps to address them, you can lay the groundwork for a happier existence.
Shifting your perspective from external sources of happiness to an internal state, where happiness is the default, enables a profound transformation in how you approach life’s challenges and joys.
However, the journey toward lasting happiness often necessitates a continuous commitment and practice.
This brings us to the idea of training oneself to be happy. Can happiness truly be cultivated and honed as a skill?
The answer is a resounding yes.
Can I Train Myself to Be Happy?
Yes!
There are actually many methods for learning how to be happy.
But here we will discuss what I believe (and have witnessed first-hand) to be the most powerful tool for the job:
Hypnotherapy and Self-Hypnosis.
Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis are powerful tools that can assist individuals in their quest for lasting happiness.
Even though these methods are not a magical solution, they can play a significant role in the pursuit of well-being by addressing deeply ingrained beliefs, thought patterns, and behaviors.
In a nutshell, self-hypnosis with guided audio tapes involves finding a quiet, comfortable space, setting a goal, and using recordings created by experienced hypnotherapists. You’ll listen to the audio, relax, focus on the hypnotist’s voice, and visualize the desired outcome as guided in the recording.
While daily practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and physical well-being are indeed valuable and have their place in fostering happiness, hypnotherapy offers unique advantages when it comes to achieving swift and enduring results:
Rapid Transformation
Hypnotherapy is renowned for its ability to bring about rapid transformation.
Unlike daily practices that may require weeks or even months of consistency to yield noticeable results, hypnotherapy can often provide significant improvements in a relatively short period.
By delving into the subconscious and addressing deep-seated beliefs and thought patterns, it accelerates the process of change.
Lasting Impact
Hypnotherapy isn’t just about quick fixes; it’s about achieving lasting results.
While daily practices necessitate ongoing commitment to maintain their effects, hypnotherapy focuses on creating profound, enduring changes at the subconscious level.
By reprogramming negative beliefs and instilling positive ones, it paves the way for lasting happiness, reducing the need for constant, conscious effort.
Efficiency
Hypnotherapy is highly efficient. It allows you to address multiple aspects of your well-being simultaneously.
Instead of committing to separate daily practices for gratitude, mindfulness, and physical health, hypnotherapy can target all these areas in one integrated session.
This efficiency is particularly beneficial for individuals with busy lifestyles, as it saves time and streamlines the path to happiness.
Personalization
Hypnotherapy can be tailored to your unique needs and challenges.
It can address your specific barriers to happiness and design solutions that are personalized to your situation.
This level of customization enhances its effectiveness in comparison to more generalized daily practices.
Unlocking Lasting Happiness through Hypnotherapy and Self-Hypnosis
Rediscovering joy and unlocking the three keys to a happier life can be a challenging journey, often hindered by the complexities of our own minds.
Fortunately, there’s a powerful tool at our disposal – hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis.
With these techniques, the path to understanding what makes us unhappy, shifting our perspective on happiness, and consciously choosing joy becomes more accessible than ever before.
In this exploration, we’ll delve into how hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis can serve as gateways to rediscovering happiness and enjoying the full spectrum of life’s joys.
Identifying Sources of Unhappiness
The first key to happiness is understanding what makes you unhappy. Hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis can help you identify these sources of unhappiness.
- Deep Exploration of the Subconscious: Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis allow you to access the hidden realms of your subconscious mind. Here, you can uncover the deeply ingrained beliefs and thought patterns that contribute to your unhappiness. This process enables you to recognize and challenge the negative influences that have been holding you back.
- Eliminating Negative Beliefs: With the assistance of these techniques, you can confront and reprogram limiting beliefs. Whether it’s feelings of unworthiness, fear, or self-doubt, hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis provide a platform for replacing these negative thought patterns with positive, empowering ones. By addressing these detrimental influences, you create space for your innate state of happiness to flourish.
Shifting Perspective on Happiness
The second key to happiness is changing your perspective on happiness – from the external to the internal. Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis can help you with:
- Internalizing Happiness: One of the core principles of hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis is the internalization of happiness. They empower you to recognize that happiness is not an external pursuit but an internal, innate state of being. By consistently practicing these techniques, you can shift your perspective and understand that happiness is always within reach. It’s a natural default, waiting to be unveiled from the confines of external dependencies.
Choosing Happiness Consciously
The third key to happiness is choosing happiness consciously. Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis can help you with:
- Cultivating Mindfulness: Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis foster mindfulness. These practices make you acutely aware of your thoughts, emotions, and actions in every moment. By regularly engaging in these techniques, you develop the skill of intentionally steering your inner world toward positivity.
- Daily Practice: Choosing happiness becomes a conscious, daily practice. With the help of hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis, you can reshape your inner landscape and unlock the hidden treasure of lasting happiness. By consistently applying these tools, you empower yourself to make happiness a deliberate choice, regardless of external circumstances.
My Recommendation: Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy (RTT)
Marisa Peer is a well-known British therapist and author who has made significant contributions to the field of therapy and self-help.
She developed a therapeutic approach known as “Rapid Transformational Therapy” (RTT), which is designed to help individuals overcome a wide range of emotional and psychological issues.
I’ve experienced Marisa’s hypnotherapy myself with amazing results. I can highly recommend anything by Marisa Peer – it’s guaranteed to help you on your way to a happier life.
Conclusion: How Do I Make Myself Happy?
Happiness is not an elusive dream but a natural state of being within us. And the question, “How do I make myself happy?” receives an answer in the form of the 3 keys to happiness:
1. Understand what’s making you unhappy. To find happiness, it is important to recognize that it is your natural inner state of being. This means that the key to uncovering happiness lies in eliminating the things that make you unhappy, such as poor mental health, seeking happiness in external factors (such as economic or materialistic rewards), and feeling that nothing is ever enough.
2. Change your perspective on happiness. Happiness is an internal state that should be the default. Instead of searching externally, uncover the happiness within.
3. Choose happiness consciously. It is possible to develop the skill of being mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and actions in every moment, and then intentionally turn them positive if you find them unpleasant. This skill is achievable by anyone with enough consistent practice.
Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis offer powerful tools to assist on this journey. While they are not magic solutions, these methods can play a significant role in the pursuit of well-being by addressing deep-seated beliefs, thought patterns, and behaviors.
These practices provide unique advantages, including rapid transformation, lasting impact, efficiency, and personalization. They allow you to identify sources of unhappiness, delve into the subconscious, and eliminate negative beliefs.
By consistently applying these tools, you empower yourself to make happiness a deliberate choice, regardless of external circumstances.
In essence, hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis become your guide in uncovering the hidden treasure of lasting happiness, giving you the power to take happiness into your own hands and enjoy a more joyful existence.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
