How To Identify And Fix Your Limiting Beliefs?
One of the things that was somewhat annoying to me when I started my journey with spiritual practices, was the fact that many teachers in books or videos talked about working on your issues without discussing how to identify those issues.
They offered powerful methods on working on your deeper issues, or limiting beliefs, in life, but it wasn’t always apparent to me what those issues were.
The “issues” you have, are in this case negative memories, thought patterns or beliefs, that have a negative impact on your life. They have often formed subconsciously, possibly in the very first years of your life.
The key to working on those limiting beliefs is to get to know what situation, conversation or event, caused you to form that particular memory that turned into belief.
An example: My parents divorced when I was five. As a result, I saw how much misery it caused to my parents and thus I formed a belief that relationships bring only heartache. For tens of years I could not have a loving, lasting relationship, because I believed they would only end in pain and grief.
You can't fix what you don't know is broken
Until I could identify this, and other limiting beliefs, and the events that caused them, I could not fix them. Until they are fixed, the may cause a lot of grief and unhappiness. That’s why it is so important to work on your issues if you want a happy life. Working on your limiting beliefs is best done by addressing the memories of events that caused them.
So I wondered what could have been the reason behind not talking about identifying the issues. Would the limiting beliefs just surface naturally while practicing the methods for healing them? Was I supposed to know my issues already? Could they reveal themselves to me in meditation? Would there be a whole other book or online course for identifying the limiting beliefs?
Turns out all of my guesses were correct.
Still it would have made my life so much easier, if I didn’t have to wonder what were the issues I was supposed to be working with.
Therefore, here are five ways to identify your issues / limiting beliefs. We will take a thorough look at methods to fix your issues in another blogpost, but as always, I will include a tool to get you started right away.
1. You Already Know What Your Issues Are
Ok, this might seem vague and not helpful at all. But there are two perspectives on this point, the first one being that, well, of course you know! Who else would or could know?
You may not know consciously, but on a deeper level you are very much aware of your issues. But again, this does not help much. How do you reveal the issues to my conscious mind? (we’ll address this in point number 2)
The other perspective is to “take a look” at your conscious mind. What thoughts bring you negative emotions? What do you constantly think about, even if you do not want to? Do you feel angry at someone? Do you feel sad? Depressed even?
The key here is to connect your negative thoughts to a situation that has caused you to think this way. What was the event that made you sad? Who was the person that made you angry? What was the situation?
You will have a memory stored as an image in your mind. Feel the feeling, even if it is uncomfortable. Just briefly, embrace the feeling fully. See what image comes to your mind.
That’s an important notion to make about the issues we are talking about here. They are memories you hold that cause you to feel negative feelings such as anger, sadness even just slight discomfort.
The situations where your memory was formed might not have been that apparently negative at the moment. But you may have subconsciously formed a negative belief based on the situation anyway.
2. Connect with your subconscious mind in meditation
Meditation and dreaming are very good ways to connect with your subconscious mind. There are many different ways to meditate, I have written about my favourite here.
Even if you feel there are no major issues to work with, it’s good to go within from time to time and see what lies underneath. What comes up when you meditate? Is there anything that troubles you subconsciously?
Remember, that your mind and body are inseparable, so even if you don’t feel negative emotions in your mind, you might have physical pain in your body. Pain can be, though not always, something that is caused by negative memories in your subconscious mind (pretty similar to how the nocebo effect works for example).
So start your meditation. Concentrate on how you feel. Do you feel anger, sadness, stress, hate etc.? If you have pain in your body, you can focus on it. Feel the feeling in your mind or the pain in your body fully.
You don’t have to immerse yourself in the negative for long, just briefly connect with the feelings or sensations in your mind or body.
Ask yourself “what is this pain/feeling related to?” or “what is this pain/feeling trying to tell me?”. Continue with the meditation, allow an answer to enter your mind.
The answer could be in the form of an image of something that has happened to you, it could be a name of a person, a smell or some other thought in your mind.
The answer might be subtle, so you might not get a clear answer on the first try. But the answer does not have to be immediately obvious. Your subconscious knows what’s up and what you receive as an answer to your question is in some way tied to the issue you want to work on.
Pro tip: If you are not familiar with meditation,you can also try just writing a question on paper (like what is my limiting belief about happiness?) and then try to answer that question. Just start writing down anything that comes to mind and do this for 2 to 5 minutes. You might come up with an answer you didn’t know you had.
If you see something with your minds eye, that’s very good. That’s the memory that is either causing, or in a significant way related, to your issue. If you receive an answer in a non-visual form, go a bit deeper.
Try to connect the sound, name, smell, or other sensation with an event in your life. Ask yourself “what event is this related to?”. Eventually you will see something in your mind. The image may not feel that significant to you, but trust your subconscious, this is what you want to work on.
If you don’t receive an answer during meditation, don’t worry. Keep an open mind during the day, you might receive an answer in an unexpected form.
Maybe an ad catches your attention and you realise it is about the same problem you are having. The answer could come to you during a seemingly random conversation. It could be anything. You will subconsciously seek out an answer, so be aware of your surroundings.
You can also repeat the meditation before going to bed or just ask for an answer before going to sleep. That brings us neatly to the next point.
3. Start practicing on one issue and the deeper ones will surface
This is something you need to be aware of. Once you reveal the negative memories behind some of your limiting beliefs and start working on them, other memories will usually surface.
This might even happen at the very beginning, especially when meditating. You could find yourself having many memories that are somehow linked to the same negative feeling you are experiencing. It is normal and a good thing.
You may not need to work on all of the memories your mind brings up. There is an underlying memory that has created your problem in the first place and this is the one you want to work on.
If you have multiple memories in your mind right from the beginning, try to identify the one that is the earliest. The one that in your life, chronologically formed first.
If you don’t know which on is the first, start working on the one that brings you the strongest negative feeling. When you have fixed one memory, start working on the one that brought you the second strongest negative feeling etc. Eventually you have either fixed them all or the rest will heal when you fix the core issue.
4. Your dreams tell you more than you might think
What dream did you have last night? If you can’t remember, that’s all right. We all have dreams each night, but we might not always be able to remember them.
Even so, I’m sure you can remember some dreams you’ve had recently. Some you may even remember from distant past. Some dreams have a real life feel to them, while some do not make much sense.
Our mind can have a hard time making sense of the dream world, since the laws of our everyday life do not exist there. For example, two apparently contradicting things may happen at the same time. You may experience something happening to you but at the same time you are viewing yourself from the perspective of another person.
In any case, dreams can tell you a lot about things that you are not aware of consciously. Do your dreams have a recurring theme? Is there an event that keeps happening over and over again? Maybe you are being chased by something or someone, or you try to run but you are having a hard time moving your legs.
There are a number of ways you can work with your dreams. If you can’t remember your dreams you may want to practice remembering them more often by keeping a journal, but that is not necessary.
1. work on the images from the dreams that repeat themselves often.
These are usually the ones you remember the best anyway.
If you ask yourself a question before going to sleep, such as “What memory causes me to have issues with my health/wealth/relationships?”, you could very well receive an answer in the form of a dream.
2. practice remembering your dreams.
A journal you can fill as soon as you wake up from your dream is a great way to start. This way you can easily pick up recurring themes that may not otherwise reveal themselves to you.
A quick tip is to practice staying in the position you woke up in, or placing your body back to that position. This is a form of “muscle memory” for the lack of a better term and will help you recall the dream you just had. Try it out, it’s surprisingly effective.
3. practice lucid dreaming.
In lucid dreams you are aware that you are dreaming and can control your dreams to some extent. It takes dedication and some practice, but it is achievable for anyone to have lucid dreams.
In addition to being a great way to work on your subconscious issues, it can also be super fun. My go-to author is Andrew Holecek. (no affiliation)
5. Take a test, a course or read a book on how to find and fix your issues
There are plenty of great books and courses out there to help you find and fix your limiting beliefs. Keep in mind, that there’s no magic pill or shortcut you can take. You will have to do some work on finding and healing the negative memories that cause your issues.
There is also no one right way to do this, you will have to find out what works for you. The good news is that there are as many options as there are different belief systems.
So if you are not a fan or don’t believe in such a thing as chakras, don’t try chakra clearing. It is counterproductive to try to fix your beliefs (negative memories at the root of your beliefs) with something you don’t believe in.
That being said, it will require you to work on your subconscious mind to fix your issues. Willpower alone, or just performing some physical activity might not work, at least not in the long run.
I highly recommend taking a test to reveal your problem areas. One such test can be found here.
It will give you an easy to understand rating to serve as a starting point on working with the issues you struggle with the most.
The author, Dr. Alexander Loyd also offers many very effective methods for fixing your issues, I suggest you give any of them a try (no affiliation, but tried and tested stuff).
How To Fix A Limiting Belief?
Once you have identified a limiting belief, you can start to heal the memory that caused it in the first place.
Remember, beliefs are formed as we make assumptions about events that unfold around us. You have a memory of an event that caused you to form a limiting belief. The key is to work on this memory.
After identifying the limiting belief and the memory that caused it, start healing the memory. Don’t worry if you are not sure what is the earliest (root cause) memory behind your belief. Just start working on one memory and others will surface, as discussed before.
Here is a quick meditation you can do, to start healing the memory behind your limiting belief.
Meditation For Healing Limiting Beliefs
Sit with your back straight but relaxed
- You can sit on a chair, couch, or a pillow on the floor
- You do not need to cross your legs, just sit comfortably - the most important thing is that your back is straight
- Push your chest out slightly
- Place your hands on your legs with palms facing up.
Alternatively you can also lie down
- Lie down on your back with your feet about shoulder-width apart and arms relaxed on your side with palms facing upward
Close your eyes
Breathe deeply in and out three times
- Take a deep breath in through your nose
- Hold for a few seconds
- Exhale through your mouth
- Repeat three times
Think about the memory you identified
- Remember the memory as an image in your mind.
- Connect with the memory for just a few seconds
- Feel any feelings that might arise, but you don't need to feel the pain associated with the memory for long
Imagine the image you see, the "scene", filling with light
- Make the light as bright and white as possible
Bring the feeling of love to the memory
- Keep the image, the memory, in your mind but think about things that make you feel love
- A Loved one, your child, a pet, a happy event etc. Whatever helps you feel love
- If you wish, you can also ask that a higher power (whatever it means to you) helps you heal the memory
Stay with the image, filled with light and love, for 5-10 minutes
When you are ready, slowly open your eyes and take a long deep breath
Conclusion
The “issues” / limiting beliefs you have, are memories, thought patterns or beliefs, that have a negative impact on your life. They have often formed subconsciously, possibly in the very first years of your life.
The situations where your memory was formed might not have been at the moment that apparently negative. But you may have subconsciously formed a negative belief based on the situation anyway.
To find out what your limiting beliefs are, try one ore more of these 5 methods:
- Consciously or subconsciously you are already aware of your issues
- Use meditation to connect to your subconscious mind to reveal your limiting beliefs
- Start healing one issue and more will surface
- Your dreams may reveal your deepest issues / limiting beliefs
- Take a test, or a course, or read a book designed to find and fix your issues
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
