How To Be Happy Now?
When I first started my quest for happiness, the first thing that came to my mind was to look for courses about how to get more abundance in my life. Specifically how to get money in abundance. At the time I thought that perhaps my happiness would increase automatically if I just had more money.
It’s important to know that there’s nothing wrong with pursuing abundance. In fact, having an abundance of everything will most likely likely help you get rid of stress and worry. In other words, make it easier for you to be happy. Incidentally, being abundant is our natural state of being as well. The only limits in our lives are those that we set for ourselves (consciously or unconsciously).
But to start chasing abundance, without first understanding that being happy is not dependent on abundance of material things, will just lead to more unhappiness
Be Happy Now
I found a number of online courses and books that promised more abundance, or at the very least more money. But the more I studied these books and courses, the more I stumbled upon two problems with the manifesting formula or whatever formula these books and courses were trying to sell you. There’s nothing wrong with these courses or books, they are the work of committed creators and I have nothing bad to say about them. The formulas in them were just not working out for me.
The hurdles in the formulas I stumbled upon time and time again were as follows
- Decide what you want
- Be happy now – happiness is the fuel of creation
So how are these problems? They seem pretty clear instructions.
First of all, item number one. Decide what you want. Pretty simple, right?
Not for me it wasn’t!
I had no idea what I wanted. Money? Definitely yes, but how much? Even if I could come up with a number I kept changing my mind about it whenever I had even the slightest seed of doubt in my mind that maybe I was asking for too much. Love? Sure, but I had a pretty long list of details about how my future partner should look like, let alone how she should dress, act, talk… and so on.
The Devil Is In The Details
Later I found out (as for example Mike Dooley teaches) that insisting on details often makes it very hard to get what you want. Even more so, I learned the hard way that the things I thought I wanted were things I did not actually want on a deeper level.
The things I went after did not bring me any closer to being happy. Quite the opposite. The things I manifested in my life made me even more angry or miserable with everything.
So what about the second hurdle? Be happy now. That’s a nice statement and indeed one of the “secrets behind The Secret (the bestselling book and movie)”, since happiness in my experience seems to really be the ultimate fuel for creating the life you want. But of course no one taught how to be happy now.
They just commented “just be happy”. Or elaborated briefly on the subject by saying that being grateful brings happiness.
There was a third problem as well that emerged from the two previous ones. What if the goal I was striving for was happiness?
How could I decide that I want to manifest happiness, be happier with my life, and at the same time follow the steps in the described formulas and just be happy now? It didn’t make any sense to me. Get happiness by being happy?
We’ve come full circle here.
How To Live A Happier Life?
So the way to approach the problems I encountered was actually revealed to me with that apparent contradiction. Trying to manifest more happiness in my life seemed to require being happy to begin with.
Well, as it turns out, happiness is a feeling and you can choose how you feel each moment.
I love what T. Harv Eker teaches about happiness: “Try being happy tomorrow or try being happy yesterday. You can’t do it. The only time you can be happy is right now”.
Consequently, trying to manifest more happiness is pointless. You cannot be happy in the future. You live in the moment of ‘now’ and that is the only time that you can feel happiness.
But wait a minute! There are also people like Mike Dooley who teach just the opposite. That the ultimate goal we should be striving to manifest is happiness!
Yes, this is true. But the way I see it, there is no contradiction. You can either visualize your ideal future where you are happy, or you can travel back to the past in your imagination and think about a moment in time when you felt happiness.
You can even use something like affirmations to change your thoughts in this moment to feel happier.
And this is the secret behind The Secret, the key to being happy now:
The goal of all of these exercises, what you are actually trying to do, is bring the feeling of happiness to this moment right now.
That is the key.
4 Things You Can Do To Be Happy Now
It may very well be, that if you could just deeply connect to the moment of ‘right now’, without focusing on what’s coming for you in the future or what has happened in the past, you would be happy and at peace.
But there are things that distract you all the time, like your beliefs. You have been conditioned to dwell on the negative. The feelings of lack and need make you focus on the things you don’t have but in your mind think you need in order to be happy.
So coming back to where we started, how to be happy now?
Here are some things you can try:
1. Relieve Stress
In my opinion, stress is one of the main blockages for our happiness. If we are uncertain about our finances, health, job or anything in our lives really, we tend to stress and worry. It is all natural and part of the human experience, but how can you be happy if everything makes you stress and worry about your life?
Therefore it makes sense to try and reduce your stress levels whenever possible. There are many ways to do this and you may already have a practice in place for unwinding. I’ve had the best results for lowering stress with the following practices:
Deep Breathing Exercise
Breathing deep connects you with the current moment very efficiently. When you are in the moment of ‘now’, you feel less stress about your future and worry less about the past events. Breathing helps your body relax and turn off the constant state of “fight or flight” we often find ourselves in.
Try this:
- Sit comfortably or lie down.
- Take a deep breath in trough your nose.
- As you breathe in, try to fill your lungs from the bottom up. Imagine your muscles working all the way up from your lower abdominals, as if your abs controlled your breathing as well.
- First expand your lower abs, then middle, then upper abs and diaphragm. As you keep drawing breath, expand the middle of your chest then the top of your chest until your lungs are completely full.
- Hold your breath for a few seconds.
- Exhale through your mouth, pushing the air out with your muscles in reverse order as when breathing in. First your upper chest, then the middle. Then diaphragm and down through the abdominals.
- As you exhale, imagine the stress leaving your body.
- When your lungs are completely empty, relax your whole body. Let every muscle loose. Pay close attention to the muscles in your face, since they tend to get really tight during the day.
- Hold your breath for a few seconds, whatever feels comfortable, then repeat the process.
Bonus Tips
For extra effect, time your breathing so, that inhaling, holding, exhaling, holding again, all take the same amount of time. For example count slowly in your mind to five as you inhale, then count to five as you hold your breath, count again to five while exhaling, and count to five while your lungs are empty before you inhale again.
Another very effective method for reducing your stress is something called ‘ EFT or tapping’. It is really simple and works instantly. Try it out, it’s free and you can see the results for yourself in fifteen minutes.
I am not affiliated with the tapping solution, I just think it rocks.
2. "Fake It 'Til You Make It"
Your mind tries it’s very best to fulfill your commands. Most of the time though, it is bombarded with mixing information coming in from all sides through your senses and getting confused about what it is you’re trying to achieve. Your subconscious programming then kicks in and you follow your subconscious patterns, often bringing you the same old results you’ve come to expect.
That is until you consciously and consistently instruct your mind what to do.
Tell yourself that you are happy. I admit that the heading is a bit misleading, since you can’t really fake it. If you don’t believe you are happy, you are not happy. Simple as that. But you can tell yourself something that you can believe in. Try one of the following:
Say “I am happy!” Or “I feel happy!”.
If it feels like saying you are happy now is lying, then try
“Every moment I’m getting happier and happier”
Or “everything I do leads to happiness”
Repeat this statement a few times and say it like you mean it. See if you start to feel better.
3. Mind-Body Connection
Your body and mind are connected and cannot be separated from one another. You most likely often see the connection from mind to body. For example you can literally worry yourself to the point where you fall ill. You can likewise use your mind to push your body through a situation where you feel your body has no strength left. But the connection works the other way around too. You can use your body to influence your mind.
Try this:
- Force a smile. Keep the smile on your face as long as you can. See if you start to feel better.
- Go outside for a walk or work out. Exercise is proven to release hormones in your body that make you feel good.
4. Meditate
There are many benefits to meditation and one of them is experiencing less stress.
If you know how to meditate, try these tips during your next session. If you don’t know how to meditate, don’t worry. There’s a complete guide with a simple practice here.
Try this:
- While meditating, bring the feeling of happiness to the moment of now. Either visualise your ideal future where you are happy or connect with a memory from your past when you felt truly happy.
- Alternatively you can try different meditations to connect with the moment of now and bring peace and happiness to you that way.
Conclusion
If you try one or more of these tips on a regular basis, you will begin to notice how happiness (and all of your feelings) are actually something you can control. You can make yourself happy on demand.
I highly recommend meditation in one form or another, since it trains you to be aware of your thoughts and bring your awareness to the moment of now. That way your thoughts dwell less on what could have been and what uncertainty future may hold. When you speculate less on possible outcomes of the future or what you should have done in the past, you will not stress and worry as much.
Of course there will still be times when you are too distracted to do any of these exercises or you just can’t be bothered. That’s okay, it’s all part of being human. Don’t blame yourself, that will accomplish nothing.
The important thing is, that even doing one of the aforementioned exercises every now and then, will help you start to feel happiness more often than before. With time and dedication, stress and worry will start to peel off of you and you will find that you are happier for longer periods of time.
Don’t get discouraged if something doesn’t work for you. There are always different options. Try things out and find the practice that best suits you.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
