The #1 Reason Why You Shouldn’t Want Or Need Anything
Our mind is an incredibly powerful tool. Did you know that there’s for example no such thing as a good memory or a bad memory?* There’s only a trained memory or an untrained memory.
The best thinkers among us through the centuries have given us incredible inventions, some even unlocking the mysteries of the universe (E=mc2, anyone?). Yet we tend to disregard how amazing our mind is. We even try to ignore it altogether, let alone give it the stimulation it needs in order to stay sharp.
We scroll through our social media feed, watch movies, reality TV series, any other form of entertainment. Heck, we even numb our minds with alcohol. We do anything that involves us not having to think, not having to use our mind.
If so, what does this have to do with wanting and needing?
We’re getting there.
First of all, please stop ignoring and numbing your mind. Instead train it, challenge it, learn to use it to your advantage. If you are not using your mind consciously, you will act subconsciously based on your deepest beliefs. In fact, we do that most of the time anyway, so make sure what you believe is beneficial to you.
Your Mind Tries To Do What You Want It To
One of my favourite authors, Marisa Peer, inventor of Rapid Transformational Therapy*, teaches that our mind does what it thinks we want it to do. It is one of the most profound lessons that we should learn about our mind and how it works. She’s got other amazing teachings, you should definitely check out her work.
I’m sure that when you stop and think about your life, you’ll find examples of your mind in action such as this one:
There’s something that you don’t want to do, like go to work. You tell yourself that you hate it, you don’t have the energy to do it, you don’t want to go. Your mind takes these as very literal instructions.
First your mind lowers your energy levels, since you are telling it that you are so tired of your work and don’t have the energy to do it. You feel even more tired than before and can’t seem to pick yourself up.
Then, as you keep telling yourself that you hate your job, you don’t want to go, suddenly you find yourself sick. Your mind takes the story you tell as instructions and, in turn, instructs your body to shut down. Maybe it’s a flu you contract, maybe you have a terrible headache.
It’s your mind fulfilling your commands. “Oh, you don’t want to go? Here, I’ve instructed your body to shut down so you’ll experience not having to go to work”.
Your Mind Takes Instructions Very Literally
Your mind does not distinguish between ‘good and bad’ instructions and outcomes, it is only there to provide you with the conditions to experience what you say you want to experience. It is the story that you tell yourself consciously, or subconsciously based on your beliefs, that informs the mind what to do. Your mind then very literally does what it thinks you want it to.
Don’t worry though. Your positive thoughts are far stronger than your negative ones and easily outweigh them when your mind tries to interpret your will. It will take a long time focusing on the negative thoughts to have a negative experience. Still, you should be mindful of your thoughts.
This is why wanting or needing something will often not work.
Remember, your mind takes instructions very literally. When you are trying to do something, even saying that “I’m trying my hardest to make this work”, your mind interprets this in a way that you are trying to experience, well, trying. Your mind does not understand that you are trying to force an outcome, it only understand that you are trying to experience the forcing part.
Thinking Of Needing Something Creates The Experience Of Needing For You
This is so regardless of what you believe controls your life, be it your conscious mind, subconscious mind, the universe, the source, god, you name it. Whether you are trying to instruct your mind or ‘bend the universe to your will’, you must be very clear of the instructions you are providing. If you are thinking, saying or doing that you WANT or NEED to get something, that is exactly how it is interpreted. You will thus experience in your physical life the conditions where you WANT or NEED something.
Neale Donald Walsch in his book “Conversations With God volume II” teaches us a great lesson about not needing:
“Not needing” is a great freedom. It frees you, first, from fear: fear that there is something you won’t have; fear that there is something you have that you will lose; and fear that without a certain thing, you won’t be happy.
Secondly, “not needing” frees you from anger. Anger is fear announced. When you have nothing to fear, you have nothing over which to be angry.
You are not angry when you don’t get what you want, because your wanting it was simply a preference, not a necessity. You therefore have no fear associated with the possibility of not getting it. Hence, no anger.
Using the word ‘need’ creates that reality for you. You effectively tell your mind that you don’t have that thing, because if you already had it, you wouldn’t so desperately keep telling that you need it. Your subconscious mind then guides you to the experiences that show you the lack, or the need, of the thing you say you need.
What does all this mean? What’s the takeaway?
Stop Wanting And Needing - Choose Or Prefer Instead
The “quick fix” is to stop thinking that you want or need something.
Like Neale suggests, free yourself from wanting. Think of wanting or needing something simply as a preference. Then adjust the things you think and say accordingly. So instead of the words want and need, use the words choose and prefer. Don’t say “I need money”. Say “I prefer money” or “I choose money” or whatever it is you might ‘want’.
Let’s not stop there, since you can do even better. Preferring or choosing alone may still not bring you the results you are looking for. Why?
Because the second part of the equation is focusing on the positive outcomes instead of stating the negative. For example, if you are telling yourself “I want to let go of the pain in my back”, as we already established, you are wanting something and so will experience the wanting. But even if you change the wording to “I CHOOSE to let go of the pain in my back”, you are focusing on the pain in your back. Remember, your mind does not distinguish between ‘good and bad’, it only tries to act on the thoughts you have.
Your mind understands that you choose to let go, but at the same time you are telling it that there’s pain in your back. Your mind might get confused.
Focus On The Positive
Note that it is important to acknowledge what’s bothering you. You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken. You can even be grateful of the experience you are having. But after you’ve stated what needs to be fixed, concentrate on the positive. Try saying “I choose to have a strong, healthy back”. “I prefer a healthy back and my back is getting better and better every day”.
You can train and instruct your mind to focus on the positive even further by using techniques such as visualisation meditation. Visualising an ideal outcome to any situation you are in will help your mind find the best ways for you to reach your goal. Visualising is especially useful in instructing your subconscious mind ,which makes most of the decisions for you.
Conclusion
Your mind is a powerful tool and it does what it thinks you want it to do. It does so whether you give it instructions consciously or subconsciously.
The more you try to force something the more it persists. Your mind does not distinguish between ‘good and bad’ thoughts, it only tries to do what it thinks you want it to. This is why wanting or needing something will often not bring you the results you want.
When you are trying to do something, even saying that “I’m trying my hardest to make this work”, your mind interprets this in a way that you are trying to experience the “trying” part.
Your positive thoughts are far stronger than your negative ones and easily outweigh them when your mind tries to interpret your will.
Think of wanting or needing something simply as a preference. Then adjust the things you think and say accordingly. Instead of the words want and need, use the words choose and prefer.
Create a story of the life you want to experience. Start telling your mind positive things.
*I am not affiliated with these authors. I want to recommend these authors and courses only because they have helped me transform my life.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
