29 Proven Ways to Be Happier
Before we dive into these 29 proven ways to be happier, let’s start with the obvious: What is happiness? Contrary to what you are told and have come to believe, happiness is not something that you can get.
Happiness is your natural state of being. It’s evident that happiness exists within us when we watch children play. They need very little (if anything) to get excited and be happy.
That was true for us too when we were young. But as we grow up, we start to think that we need something to make us happy. Then we develop beliefs and habits around that idea and forget that we are supposed to be happy without excessive material wealth.
Adult life also brings with it constant stress, fear, and anxiety. More often than not, our bodies and minds are in fight-or-flight mode, which completely eliminates our ability to feel happy.
Therefore, the key to living a happy life is fixing these issues.
Repair and Rebuild
First, eliminate the things that block your happiness: Stress, anxiety, fear, and depression.
Second, focus on rebuilding your behavior and habits back to such that are found in children (not all of them, obviously, that would make life hard 
): playfulness, optimism, gratitude, and expressing your emotions freely.
As the World Happiness Report so elegantly sums it all up: Happiness is the ability to manage your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and interactions with others. Add to that good physical health: Studies show that the happiest people often have fit and healthy bodies. And there you have it. That’s what it takes to finally be happy.
In this blog post, I present to you science-backed, thoroughly studied, methods that will help you do the things mentioned above: Eliminate blocks and change your behavior for living a happy life.
That said, here are 29 science-backed, proven ways to be happier.
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
I know what you are thinking: “How is therapy a way to boost happiness?”. Well, if you suffer from depression, the first thing you want to do is eliminate any major obstacles to your happiness.
According to the World Happiness Report, mental health is the single most important determinant of individual happiness. If you have mental health problems, you are likely unhappy. CBT can help identify, understand, and change your thinking and behavior patterns and remove an obstacle to your happiness.
2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Acceptance and mindfulness (living in the moment and focusing on your thoughts and feelings without judgment), combined with commitment and behavior change, will help you cope with unwanted thoughts and feelings. It is another way to boost your mental well-being, and we will discuss acceptance more later.
3. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Integrating cognitive-behavioral techniques with concepts from Eastern meditation, dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, combines acceptance with change. DBT involves individual and group therapy to learn mindfulness and skills for interpersonal effectiveness, tolerating distress, and regulating emotions. Meditation will come up a bit later too, so DBT may be a double-whammy: two ways to be happier in one 😄
4. Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is used to treat and alleviate many physical and psychological symptoms. It allows you to experience deep levels of relaxation and helps to reduce levels of stress and anxiety. What Hypnotherapy can do that other therapies can’t is to directly address the most profound beliefs and thoughts that you hold about yourself in the depths of your subconscious mind. It may help you pick up new habits and beliefs almost overnight.
5. Eliminate stress
Stress is the body’s natural reaction in face of perceived danger. It’s often referred to as the fight-or-flight mechanism. Stress used to be a good defense against predators and other dangers, but it has much less use in our lives today. Prolonged stress can cause many physical and psychological problems and make it virtually impossible to feel happy (try feeling happy and stressed simultaneously).
You can lower your stress levels with different breathing techniques such as the four-fold breath (box breathing, equal breathing), physical exercise, natural herbs such as lemon balm, or a method known as Emotional Freedom Technique commonly referred to as tapping. I’d say eliminating stress is the one thing you should combine with all other ways to be happier.
6. Strive for more freedom
According to a report by The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology “autonomy” (as in the feeling that your activities and habits are self-chosen and under your control) is the biggest contributor to happiness. Just by using common sense, it’s easy to see that the freedom to express yourself and choose your thoughts, feelings, and behavior freely will have a huge impact on your happiness.
7. Look for benevolence
Data from the world happiness report clearly show that people in societies with a high degree of trust are happier. The researchers observed that happiness gets a boost when you have a chance to witness the goodness of others in action. Happiness will also increase when you can be of service to others.
Look for opportunities to live in societies with high amounts of trust, such as the Nordic countries. It’s no coincidence that those countries are constantly ranked as the happiest in the world by the world happiness report.
8. Spend your money on others
What? How would it boost my happiness if I spent my hard-earned money on someone else? It seems counter-intuitive, but it’s true! It’s called prosocial spending. Strange as it may seem, studies have shown time and time again that if you spend money on others, you will feel more happiness.
Out of all the proven ways to be happy, this one is probably the most fun! Start small and take one of your friends out for a coffee. You’re buying! 😄
9. Give time and well-being to others
According to the World Happiness Report, people seem to derive happiness from giving experiences that provide a sense of free choice, opportunities for social connection, and a chance to see how the help has made a difference. It works the same way as the previously mentioned prosocial spending, only you spend your time and psychological resources this time. Try volunteering or helping others in a small way
10. Make sure your job is meaningful
Plenty of research suggests that “having a strong sense of purpose” is essential to psychological well-being. One of the main ways we derive our sense of purpose is from our jobs. Seek work that gives you a sense of belonging, inclusivity, flexibility, and purpose, and you will likely feel a lot happier.
11. Seek work and leisure that engage your skills
Another thing studies suggest is that people who like to immerse themselves in challenging, but not overwhelming, tasks are often happy. Usually, these tasks are work-related, but you can also find such tasks in your free time. One way to engage in challenging but not overwhelming activities is to start your own business (feel free to disagree if it’s overwhelming or not 😅).
12. Practice empathy
Did you know that you possess a superpower that allows you to tune in to how other people feel? Well, you do! It’s called empathy: Putting yourself in the place of another emotionally. Being more empathetic will help you learn to regulate your own emotions. This in turn allows you to manage your feelings without becoming overwhelmed.
Empathy also allows you to manage your interaction with others, by helping you respond appropriately in different situations. And as the World Happiness Report put it, happiness comes down to managing your feelings (and thoughts and behavior) and interactions with others
13. Find meaning & purpose in your life
If your life has meaning and you have a purpose, you are likely to be happy. This can be observed in primitive tribes, where each member of the tribe has a purpose that benefits the whole.
How does this fit in with the proven ways to be happy? Should we start living in tribes on the savannah? Of course not. But there’s much we can learn from the “primitive” lifestyle.
There are virtually no things such as depression or crime, and people are happy that their life has a meaning serving a purpose bigger than themselves – the survival of their tribe. They are fulfilling an inbuilt need that’s been with us since the early days of the human species (check out #16 for more).
14. Let go of the past
In the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study on happiness, researchers found out that as people get older, they focus more on what’s important to them. They also found out that older adults are better at letting go of past failures. The key is perspective. When you grow older, you realize that life is short and it’s important to focus on the things that make you happy now. But there’s nothing stopping you right now from focusing on the things that make you happy, you don’t have to wait until you’re old.
15. Value your social connections
Loneliness is an identified risk factor for depression. The only way to survive way back when we used to live in tribes, was to group up. Therefore, we have evolved to value social connections.
“People who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression. Moreover, studies show they also have higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, are more trusting and cooperative and, as a consequence, others are more open to trusting and cooperating with them.
In other words, social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being.” – Dr. Emma Seppälä – Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education
16. Develop a sense of belonging
As mentioned previously, humans used to form tribes to survive. Not only did humans survive, but they also thrived and populated the entire planet. Being a part of a tribe, a community, is deeply ingrained in our genes. We are inclined towards being a meaningful part of a community.
17. Talk to a friend
We all know that friends are important, but good friendships can even promote your overall health! Friends can boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Adults with strong social connections are found to have fewer health problems as well. Be it depression, high blood pressure, or high body mass index (BMI), friendships can help you steer clear of them or fix them if they’ve become a problem.
Moreover, friends can provide support during bad times and prevent isolation and loneliness. Oh and remember that last point (16) about belonging? Well, friends can also increase your sense of belonging and purpose. There’s hardly a better way to boost your happiness than talking to a friend.
18. Get enough sleep
When you haven’t slept well, you know it. It causes stress, anger, sadness, irritation, and exhaustion. The University of Pennsylvania studied sleep and found that limiting sleep to 4.5 hours a night for one week resulted in feeling more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted.
After returning back to their normal sleep schedule, the test subjects reported a dramatic improvement in mood. In addition, it has been studied that those who sleep well are more satisfied with life. But we already knew this without reading any of these studies.
19. Digital detox
We spend way too much time staring at our phones and computer screens, and it can be very detrimental to our physical and mental well-being. If you want to be happier, try a digital detox at least once per month. These 5 good reasons from this Medical News Today article will likely convince you.
1. Social media can affect mental health
2. Online interactions can harm relationships
3. Social media can fuel dangerous behaviors
4. Our physical health is at risk
5. Social media decreases productivity
20. Fix low self-esteem
Good self-esteem helps you achieve goals, build meaningful relationships and be satisfied with your life in general. Vice versa, low self-esteem can cause some very negative consequences in your life. The World Happiness Report identifies low self-esteem as one of the four individual risk factors for depression.
Having good self-esteem helps you live a happy life and protects you from developing mental health problems. Fixing low self-esteem can be a lengthy process, but it’s achievable. Happy people have good self-esteem and a sense of self-worth.
21. Take care of the soul
While taking care of the soul does not refer specifically to religious ways, it’s known that religious people report more happiness and seem to cope better with crises. However, taking care of the soul can mean different things to different people. “The soul” in this instance means “a sense of life’s meaning” and aspirations beyond the conscious self (ego). Taking care of the soul also means taking a wider perspective on life’s ups and downs.
22. Talk and act happy
Fake it ’til you make it seems to be a fairly accurate statement in the case of happiness. Experts suggest that talking and acting as if you have the traits and attitudes of a happy person may lead to gaining them. Who knew that one of the scientifically proven ways to be happier would be to just fake being happy? 🤪
23. Practice gratitude
It’s a common practice to slap a #grateful tag on your Instagram pictures. But truly practicing gratitude (I.e. actually feeling grateful and focusing on the positive) has been shown to boost happiness.
In studies, higher levels of gratitude were associated with improved personal well-being and greater life satisfaction (happiness). The tendency to notice and appreciate positive aspects of life and the ability to focus on positive memories will lead to a happier life.
24. Laugh out loud
LOL.
Isn’t laughing almost synonymous with happiness? Real laughter is often incited by feelings of happiness. But funny enough, the connection between happiness and laughter works both ways. Madan Kataria, a medical doctor in Mumbai, India has studied laughter as a medicine.
She made a discovery, that the human body does not differentiate between real and fake laughter. Even if you fake it, laughter produces the same health and wellness benefits. We can’t all laugh at the same jokes, but we can all laugh.
25. Focus on the positive
There seems to be a strong connection between positive thoughts, happiness, and having the outcomes in life that you want to have.
It’s mentioned in the World Happiness Report, that “one branch of thinking in psychology posits that positive emotions broaden cognitive capacity and attention, allowing individuals to engage in the behaviors and build the skills associated with better health, productivity, and social interaction. Evidence from lab experiments provides initial backing for this theory.”
It seems that positive thinking, and being happy, may positively influence life outcomes.
26. Spend time in nature
Research shows that people who are more connected with nature are usually happier in life and more likely to report feeling their lives are worthwhile. Nature can generate many positive emotions, such as calmness, joy, and creativity, and can facilitate concentration. Nature connectedness is also associated with better mental health, particularly lower depression and anxiety.
27. Accept your imperfections
Accepting your imperfections may require a change of perspective. Think of your best friend, partner, or kids. Why do you love them? I am willing to bet it’s not because you think they are perfect. According to Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., professor at the University of Maryland School of Public Health:
“Love is a choice and a commitment that we make each day… and we can make the same choice and commitment to love ourselves as well…”. What helps to cultivate self-acceptance is mindfulness, which teaches compassion for the self and others along with the ability to handle painful emotions.
28. Get A Life Coach to Help You
In our daily lives, we often face moments of uncertainty and challenges that can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed.
This is where the invaluable support of a life coach comes into play.
Life coaches act as guides and mentors, offering a unique blend of expertise and encouragement to individuals seeking to navigate life’s complexities and achieve their goals.
Interest in life coaching is on the rise, with a growing number of people looking for their services. Check it out, it might be just what’s needed to unlock your innate happiness.
29. Get Clear on Your Core Values
Living in accordance with our core values is crucial for happiness as it provides a sense of authenticity, purpose, and resilience.
Research has shown that living according to your intrinsic core values helps you experience higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being.
When our actions align with our deeply held beliefs, we experience a greater sense of fulfillment and contentment in life.
Furthermore, living by our core values fosters healthier relationships and enhances our overall emotional well-being, contributing to a more meaningful and happy existence.
Conclusion
Happiness is your natural state of being until you think that you need something to make you happy. That thought turns into beliefs and habits, and you forget that very little is actually needed to be happy.
Adult life also brings with it constant stress, fear, and anxiety, which completely eliminate our ability to feel happy.
Fortunately, there are many proven ways to be happier.
First, eliminate the things that block your happiness: Stress, anxiety, fear, and depression.
Second, focus on rebuilding your behavior and habits back to those that are naturally found in you: Playfulness, optimism, gratitude, and expressing your emotions freely.
Use one or more of these proven ways to be happier to eliminate happiness blocks and change your behavior for living a truly happy life.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
