Cute Misfortunes and Zooming Out
…Or How to Not Get Trapped in Your Limited Way of Looking at Things
Do you hate flat tyres?
Last Monday morning, I walked out from the door at a fast pace and I reached the driveway, only to find a flat tyre on my car. I got frustrated, stressed and perhaps a little bit angry.
On my way to the bus stop though, a strange thought made its visit.
“Would the garage owner who will fix my tyre feel the way I do?”
Well, no…
I will bring him work and money, so he experiences my flat tyre as a good thing.
The situation remains the same (the tyre is flat), but the perspectives and ultimately the emotions of each person are different.
And that reminded me of Epictetus:
“People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them”.
The benefit of consciously changing our perspective is that we stop being stuck in a closed-minded attitude — that is, looking at the “bad” thing that happened to us just from our limited view.
Want to avoid frustration?
Now, some of you may think:
“How can I avoid becoming frustrated when a bad thing happens to me?”
Well, it’s not about not being frustrated. And it is not about being in nirvana.
If we feel frustrated, then, by all means, let’s be frustrated — it’s natural. Without holding it back, let’s take our time to express our feelings — it’s healthy.
The point though is to NOT remain stuck inside a monochromatic emotional whirlpool.
And the first step for moving out from this state is to BE AWARE that there are OTHER PERSPECTIVES (completely different from our own) of the situation we are in.
So:
“How would another person have viewed my situation?”
This is a good question to ask yourself if something frustrates you.
The Cute “Misfortunes” of Our Kids
And to elaborate more, let me share with you this.
An evening some years ago, my son was crying out loud, because it was time to go to bed.
Parents already know that when toddlers are outraged, laying on the floor, hitting their arms and legs on the ground, they are experiencing their biggest disaster.
However, we appreciate that crying because it is bedtime, is not a real disaster, and presumably, we have all cried for the same reason.
So, years later, and having seen the bigger picture, I found that reaction cute and I smiled.
Maybe similarly, God* also smiles at our misfortunes; when we are struggling, when we are angry, when we are desperate and depressed.
So, perhaps at a higher level (one that we cannot grasp from our everyday perception), there are no calamities or misfortunes.
Sure, there are tough periods in our lives, ones that we can definitely feel in our skin and deep inside our souls, however, we categorize them as such only because of our personal and temporal way of perceiving them.
And maybe, just maybe, God (who supposedly exists on another level) smiles at our misfortunes, because he/she/it finds them cute.
(*By the way, with the word “God” I don’t mean any particular monotheistic God. I use that word only to allude to something above and beyond human perception. Other appropriate synonyms could be “Source”, “Higher Power”, or “Universe”.)
Zooming in and out of Pictures
And to close with something tangible, a technique to help us out, consider this thought experiment with a picture.
The other day, I was browsing through the photos on my computer and I encountered a beautiful landscape photo.
I wanted to focus on a particular point at the top of the mountain and I zoomed in.
Then, I zoomed in some more.
And then some more, till I could only see scattered pixels, which do not make much sense on their own.
It is only when we zoom out that we can see what the whole picture represents.
What if we, as individuals, are the pixels in a picture that we call our universe?
What if we could zoom out and discard the magnifying glass of our beliefs and values?
It seems to me that only then we can see how our individuality merges and collaborates with other beings and entities in the world around us.
So, I’m asking you:
What would be the benefit, if we could elevate our minds so high, that we would see people, animals, trees, rocks, events, not as separate, but as interdependent features of the bigger picture?
Could we recognise humanity’s challenges and misfortunes then?
Would we smile too?
About the Author
Spiros Giannatos is a Wellbeing and Leadership Coach (ICF PCC). He specializes in helping individuals who feel emotionally and mentally stuck in their lives to uncover and understand the deeper challenges they face. Through his guidance, he supports them on their journey towards living a fulfilled and authentic life
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
