Happiness FAQ: 8 Questions about Happiness with Exciting Answers
Happiness – the ultimate goal in life, and the truest measure of well-being. Questions about happiness have been asked throughout millennia, and for good reason: Even if you had everything you ever wanted, but lacked happiness, what would you truly have?
The quest for long-lasting happiness has lasted for millennia, but many questions still remain unanswered. What even is the definition of happiness? What is the key to long-lasting happiness? How to be happy in the face of adversity?
Today, we are going to answer those questions.
The answers presented in this article are my answers to these questions. They originate from over 20 years of studies, contemplation, and personal experiences.
But in the end, only you know you, and only you can live your life. Therefore, you must find your own answers to these questions. Your answers may differ, but it’s far more beneficial to find your own truths about life, the universe, and everything than to simply accept my truths as your own.
That being said, these answers provide a great stepping stone for you to jumpstart your journey to lasting happiness.
And while there may not be definitive or universally satisfying answers to these questions, exploring them can deepen your understanding of happiness and contribute to personal growth and well-being.
Let’s dive into the 8 age-old questions about happiness.
1. Is there a universal definition of happiness that applies to everyone?
Merriam-Webster defines happiness as:
The state of being happy.
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Technically speaking, I guess that qualifies as a universal definition that applies to everyone. But we can do better!
We could say that cultures, traditions, and personal experiences shape individual definitions of happiness, but that often comes down to material wealth and possessions.
Especially in the Western world, our definition of happiness is tied to money, success, and material wealth. We are told that these are the key to a happy life.
In some cultures, that we in the Western world label as “primitive”, the definition of happiness is tied to fulfilling one’s purpose by playing a role in the survival and well-being of their tribe.
So what is happiness, then? Is it something you can get or a state of being that emanates from fulfilling a purpose?
Well, happiness is subjective and can vary from person to person.
It's how you feel inside that counts
That’s why, defining happiness comes down to understanding the processes behind our thoughts and feelings.
What drives the feeling of happiness?
What makes you think happy thoughts?
The answer is your “inner state of being” or your subconscious mind. Your unconscious thoughts, self-talk, beliefs, and models of reality.
Belief-dependent realism is a concept that suggests our perception of reality is influenced by our beliefs and expectations.
It proposes that our subjective experience of the world is shaped by the interplay between our beliefs and the subconscious processes that underlie perception.
From this interplay, our mind constructs our reality: Our thoughts, feelings, words, and behavior. Through its processing and interpretation of sensory information, the subconscious mind contributes to this construction of reality.
It filters, selects, and shapes our perception to fit with our existing beliefs, reinforcing a subjective and personalized experience of the world.
Therefore, whether you are experiencing a happy life or not, depends on your beliefs and subconscious programming.
What you have come to believe, your mind will reinforce and “show” you.
The feeling behind the feeling
But there’s a catch: Behind the subconscious thoughts and beliefs lies your “default” state of being.
When you were born, you knew nothing of the sadness, anxiety, anger, worry, or depression that life may cause. You were happy, as long as your basic needs were fulfilled.
Just take a look at a baby. You can tell whether it’s happy or not, and making a baby happy requires very little.
That’s because a baby is happy by default.
Only when we grow up and learn “the requirements for being happy” (whatever those may be, such as money, education, career, a family, and so on), do we forget that we needed nothing for happiness to begin with.
That inner state of being happy is still there, under all the layers of learned thoughts, beliefs, and behavior.
Happiness originates from within you.
It is your natural state of being.
Happiness is the “default state” when you are not sad, worried, anxious, angry, envious, depressed, or anything other than focusing on the moment.
So the universal definition of happiness could be: Happiness is your natural state of being.
2. What is the key to long-lasting happiness?
Continuing from the answer to the previous question, the key to long-lasting happiness is finding happiness within.
Happiness is not a reaction to outside circumstances, neither is it a state of mind that just happens by accident.
And, needless to say, long-lasting happiness does not come from getting material possessions (as we will further discuss in the answer to question number 3).
The answer to this question about happiness is learning to take a new perspective on happiness: Happiness emanates from within you and is the starting point to success – not the end result.
You can learn how to cultivate long-lasting happiness by trying out the practices below
Overcome common obstacles to happiness
Stress, anxiety, depression, worry, fear, and any other negative emotion will prevent you from being happy.
You cannot be depressed and happy at the same time.
On the other hand, if you take away stress, anxiety, worry, or any other negative emotions, you make space for your inner happiness to rise to the surface.
Stress, worry, fear, anxiety, depression, etc. Are, to put it very simply, creations of your mind. They are “safety mechanisms” designed to keep you from harm, or emotions left unaddressed or improperly expressed for a long time.
The common factor in all of the negative emotions is, that they are not based on what’s happening at the moment, but rather are anticipations of future events or inability to accept past events.
Again, this is very simplified but hits close to the mark.
Therefore, practice living in the moment to let go of your negative emotions. This can be done by practicing gratitude and mindfulness.
Practice mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness involves bringing your attention to the present moment and cultivating an attitude of non-judgmental awareness.
Here are 8 steps to help you practice mindfulness:
- Find a quiet and comfortable space
- Focus your attention on your breath
- Breathe slowly in and out
- Observe your thoughts and sensations: As you sit quietly, thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations may arise. Instead of getting caught up in them, simply observe them without judgment. Notice them and let them pass, returning your attention to the breath.
- Engage your senses: Bring awareness to your senses and the present moment. Notice the sounds around you, the feeling of your body against the surface you’re sitting on, or the taste and texture of the food you’re eating. Fully engage with your senses in the present experience.
- Accept without judgment: Practice acceptance and non-judgment towards your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Instead of labeling them as good or bad, simply observe them with curiosity and kindness.
- Stay anchored in the present moment: Whenever your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the present moment and your breath.
- Practice regularly: Set aside dedicated time each day for mindfulness meditation, starting with a few minutes and gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable.
You can also Integrate mindfulness into daily activities.
Beyond formal meditation, bring mindfulness to your everyday life. Pay attention to the present moment while engaging in routine activities like brushing your teeth, walking, or eating.
Be fully present and engage your senses in the experience. This skill can be developed with practice.
Practice gratitude
Researchers have found a connection between gratitude and happiness.
In the study, participants were randomly assigned to one of three groups.
The first group was instructed to keep a daily journal listing things they were grateful for.
The second group kept a daily journal of the hassles and irritations they experienced.
The third group recorded neutral events.
The results showed that participants who kept the gratitude journal reported higher levels of well-being, including more optimism and positive affect, compared to the other two groups.
They also exhibited fewer physical symptoms and spent more time exercising.
The study concluded that practicing gratitude on a regular basis can lead to increased levels of happiness and subjective well-being.
This study has demonstrated a positive relationship between gratitude and happiness, providing evidence for the benefits of cultivating gratitude in our lives.
To practice gratitude, you can incorporate these strategies into your daily life:
- Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. It can be simple things like a beautiful sunrise, a supportive friend, or a delicious meal. Reflecting on these positive aspects helps shift your focus towards gratitude. Do it first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night.
- Express gratitude to others: Take the time to express appreciation to the people in your life. Write a heartfelt thank-you note, offer a sincere compliment, or simply say “thank you” more often. Genuine acts of gratitude can strengthen relationships and spread positivity.
- Try a gratitude meditation: During meditation, intentionally focus on feelings of gratitude. Bring to mind specific people, experiences, or things you are grateful for, and allow yourself to fully experience the emotions associated with gratitude.
- Engage in acts of kindness: Engaging in acts of kindness and helping others can cultivate gratitude. When you make a positive impact on someone else’s life, it can deepen your appreciation for the ability to contribute and make a difference.
3. Can happiness be achieved by external factors such as money, fame, or possessions?
I bet you already know the answer to this one. But there’s a twist: Although money cannot buy you happiness, the opposite is true – the lack of money will cause unhappiness.
Our modern society is built on money. Money is a means of exchange that you will need to provide for your basic needs.
Unless you live off the grid, completely self-sufficient, you will need money to buy food & water, clothes, shelter, and all the other things required for living a stress-free life.
But the trap we fall into so often is to think that money is the same as happiness.
Put another way: Get money, get happy. That is not how it works. Happiness is your natural state of being, that rises from within you when you are focused on the moment, free of stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions.
So if you stress about not having enough money, it’s usually enough to block you from being truly happy.
All in all, while material wealth and external factors will not make you happy in the long run, you need money to be happy.
Don’t be ashamed to want money; if you already have money, don’t feel bad for having it and using it. As mentioned, money is a means of exchange. In other words: a means to an end. Use it to provide for your needs and do the things you want to do.
Prioritizing intrinsic values (e.g., relationships, personal development) over extrinsic values (e.g., wealth, status) is often associated with greater happiness.
So use your external resources to cultivate internal factors for happiness, such as relationships, personal growth, and self-fulfillment.
Use money and material possessions as means to achieve something in life that will bring you long-lasting happiness.
4. How can one find happiness in challenging or adverse circumstances?
Any circumstances or events in your life do not have universal meaning. They are not positive or negative by themselves.
What makes them positive or negative is your attitude toward them.
How you perceive any event in your life comes down to your beliefs, habits, thoughts, and behavior.
Ultimately this is true, even in the most unwanted of situations such as the loss of a loved one.
So can you find happiness in challenging or adverse circumstances? I would say yes since we’ve established that happiness is your natural state of being.
However, finding your innate happiness in challenging circumstances requires that you do not ignore your negative emotions; rather, you move through them with acceptance and forgiveness.
The point is not to grieve or be unshaken by negative events. The point is to allow yourself to feel any emotions you have, accept them, and move on stronger and wiser than before.
When you are faced with an adverse circumstance and feel sad, angry, etc. The first thing to do is to acknowledge how you feel and allow yourself to feel the emotion. Do not try to repress or ignore the emotion.
Accept what has happened and how you feel about it. Allow yourself to express any emotion that surfaces. Accepting and allowing your emotions will make them pass.
If you repress or ignore your emotions, they will stay with you until they are dealt with one way or another.
Then, move on from acceptance to forgiveness. Forgive yourself for what has happened and forgive others involved. It may be difficult, but it will liberate you and allow you to move on.
Steps to acceptance and forgiveness
I’ve written about a process designed for accepting what is and forgiving what was. Here’s my guest post on Tinybuddha: Mindful Forgiveness – 4 Steps to Unlock the Healing Power of Your Mind
Then there is the way of the spiritual master. You may know of people, be they spiritual masters in the traditional sense or not, who can be seemingly unfazed by adverse events and challenging circumstances.
How do they do this?
They can do it because they see the bigger picture.
They have understood fundamental truths about life, the universe, and everything. They have grasped the question behind the ultimate answer “42”, and can therefore view every circumstance in the context of the biggest truths about life.
You too can change your perception so that you can frame negative events as neutral events.
Increasing your awareness and shifting your perception from being a victim to being in the right place at the right time will allow you to feel happy no matter what’s happening around you.
Embrace a spiritual practice that widens your view of the world.
When you see “the big picture”, your problems will seem insignificant.
You can read more about spirituality here
Here are some more down-to-earth tips for developing resilience and coping skills to navigate challenges.
- Engage in self-care practices and prioritize mental and physical well-being: The better your basic needs are taken care of, the better you are able to deal with any situation.
- Cultivate a positive mindset and practice gratitude: Try to see every “negative” event as an opportunity to grow. Try a gratitude practice.
- Focus on factors within your control and practice acceptance: Know that everything changes all the time. What you experience now will not last forever.
- Seek support from others, such as friends, family, or mental health professionals: Talking about your negative emotions will literally be an act of expressing, pushing out (from latin: ex=out, pressare=to push), the negativity and thus getting rid of it.
- Look for silver linings: When faced with challenges or setbacks, try to find the lessons or positive aspects within those experiences. Shifting your perspective towards gratitude can help reframe difficulties and foster resilience.
5. Can happiness coexist with sadness and other negative emotions?
This is a difficult question, but a fun one.
Fundamentally, the answer is yes, because every emotion springs to life from one “sponsoring” emotion: Love.
Also, spiritually speaking, if you are in a higher state of being in the spiritual world, you can detach yourself from your ego and emotions.
Therefore, you can experience sadness or suffering, yet, be completely happy and at peace.
Yes, I know, it sounds woo-woo and it’s difficult to grasp.
So back to Earth, it is!
Even though it is in some situations possible to have happiness coexist with some negative emotion, often this is not the case.
Have you tried being happy and anxious at the same time? Not going to happen.
Or try being happy when you are chronically stressed and haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days. Again, not going to happen.
That being said, there are still situations when two apparently contradictory emotions can coexist.
A short story of happiness and sadness
One of my older relatives was at the end of her journey here on planet Earth. She was not that close to me, but still, I felt the sadness that her eventual passing would bring.
Yet, at the very same time, I felt that she had no more to give, and artificially making her life longer would serve no purpose.
Those closest to her insisted that she should be kept alive as long as possible, and this is what the doctors and nurses in our modern healthcare gladly agree with.
But seeing her there, lying in the hospital bed with all the equipment needed to keep her alive, highly medicated, of course, made me realize that while she was alive, she was in pain.
Nothing could be gained from keeping her alive this way. It’s no way to live, being unable to move, and being in constant pain despite the medication.
So when she eventually passed away, I felt sad because of the loss, but also happy at the same time, understanding that she was finally at peace and suffering no more.
This is a typical example of sadness and happiness coexisting at the same time.
There are other examples, but generally, the higher your awareness (understanding of life, the universe, and everything), the easier it is to feel happy despite feeling some negative emotions at the same time.
With enough awareness, you might even find yourself being happy that you are able to feel sadness.
Sadness, just like any other negative emotion, is a part of the human experience down here on planet Earth. Being able to feel is what being a human is all about.
So happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive. It’s normal to experience a range of emotions, including both positive and negative ones, and they can coexist.
6. Is it possible to measure or quantify happiness accurately?
No. Happiness is subjective and therefore impossible to measure objectively.
Various assessment tools and scales have been developed, but they provide only a limited understanding of individual experiences of happiness.
The most reliable methods, and I use the term very loosely, are self-reflection and self-assessment tests.
They can provide insights into personal happiness levels and, while subject to debate, can provide an understanding of happiness when used on a large scale.
And here comes the “but”.
If you’ve read the previous headings in this article, you now know that happiness is your natural state of being, and therefore can be cultivated by getting rid of things that make you unhappy, such as negative thoughts and emotions. These include such things as anxiety and stress.
With that in mind, there is a way to measure happiness as the absence of these stressors or “things that make you unhappy”.
One such test for measuring happiness is the Heart Rate Variability test (HRV). It is a good test for measuring happiness since it can reveal whether you are constantly under stress or able to manage stressful situations healthily.
HRV testing can be useful for identifying risks for various health problems, such as depression, and anxiety, and for monitoring the effects of various interventions, such as exercise, mindfulness, or medication.
However, it is important to interpret HRV results in the context of other clinical and behavioral factors.
So, can happiness be measured?
Ultimately, as stated in the beginning, no. Happiness is subjective and in-built. No one can explain to you what happiness is. You know it when you feel it.
Happiness is whatever it means to you. That’s all that should matter, right? Why would you follow anyone else’s ideas or definitions of happiness? Learning what happiness is from others is what’s causing so much stress, anxiety, and depression in the first place.
In summary, if you come up with quantitative measures for happiness that work for you, use those. Otherwise, happiness is subjective and the so-called universal measurements will produce varying results from person to person.
The measurements can be a guideline for governmental or global policies, such as the World Happiness Report suggests, but otherwise, do what makes you happy.
7. Are there specific steps or strategies that guarantee happiness for everyone?
Yes, check out my ebook ‘The 3 Steps to Happiness’. Link above!
Jokes aside, Happiness is a personal and individual journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. This is acknowledged in the book, which I, in all honesty, recommend you to read.
It explains many concepts about happiness and how happiness can be found by increasing your awareness and changing your perception and beliefs in the process.
That said, there are things that you can do to move closer to lasting happiness (and these are what I call the 3 steps to happiness).
First, eliminate the most pressing matters that cause unhappiness in your life. By this I mean the emotional burden that you may carry. If you suffer from chronic stress, anxiety, or depression, seek help and try to eliminate the causes from your life.
As mentioned in question No.5 in this article, while happiness can coexist with some negative emotions, often the negative emotions block our ability to be happy. Eliminate the causes and treat the symptoms of negative emotions, and you have taken a step towards happiness.
Second, take a new perspective on happiness. Start searching for happiness inside of you, rather than in outside circumstances. This is also covered in my book.
For reference, check out the first three headings in this article. True happiness is your natural state of being, and you can start to uncover it by overcoming the common obstacles: Stress, anxiety, worry, anger, fear, depression.
Third, choose happiness consciously. You will find, that when you get rid of stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions, you can choose how you feel. Seriously! Just as you can learn to catch your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, you can learn to catch your negative emotions and choose to feel positive ones instead.
It will take time and patience to get proficient in choosing your emotions, but it can be practiced and mastered by anyone.
Here’s a guide to meditation (towards the end of the page), that will help you tune in to positive emotions and feel them on command.
Oh, and there is one more thing: It has been studied and found, that the number 1 contributor to happiness is autonomy.
In other words: freedom. The more freedom you have to make choices about your life, the happier you will likely be. That’s why those who can do with very little can often be the happiest: Because they are not dependent on society or others.
They have more freedom than a wealthy person who is still tied to the confines of the system, working from 9-to-5, managing debt, stress, relationships, and so on.
Strive for more freedom, and you will find more happiness.
8. Can happiness be learned or developed, or is it primarily influenced by genetics or circumstances?
While it is commonly accepted that happiness is influenced by a combination of genetic, environmental, and personal factors, happiness can most definitely be learned.
Studies have shown that individuals can increase their levels of happiness through intentional effort and practice, such as gratitude journaling, mindfulness meditation, and physical exercise.
That being said, happiness is also your internal personality trait. It is, in fact, the default state (as mentioned so many times in this article).
You are supposed to be happy but have picked up beliefs and habits throughout your life that cause a disconnect from this default state of happiness.
Therefore, learning happiness is more a case of “unlearning” the things that block you from being naturally happy rather than learning a set of new skills. Check out the 2nd heading in this article to learn more.
Learning to be happy will require a shift in the way you perceive your life and happiness. You must create a new belief, that you are already happy without needing anything outside of you (of course there are physical needs that must be fulfilled and money is needed to live our lives, so it’s not required to drop everything).
Fortunately, there are several strategies and techniques that have been proven time and time again to be effective in cultivating happiness. These techniques have been used by spiritual masters for centuries, and are now backed up by modern science.
The techniques most commonly used for cultivating happiness
- Gratitude
- Mindfulness
- Building social connections
- Pursuing meaningful activities
- Physical exercise
In addition, happiness can be increased through intentional lifestyle changes, such as improving sleep habits, practicing self-care, and engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy and meaning to your life.
Remember, though, (cliche as it may be) that happiness is ultimately a subjective experience. You will have to figure out how to dig in deep and find your inner path to lasting happiness.
Read more: Can happiness be learned? – Yes! Here are 7 tested techniques
Conclusion
There may not be definitive or universally satisfying answers to questions about happiness, since happiness is a subjective experience. However, exploring these questions can deepen our understanding of happiness and contribute to personal growth and well-being.
Even though happiness is subjective, there are methods that have been proven time and time again to help individuals live happier lives.
These methods include:
- Engaging in activities that align with personal values and interests.
- Cultivating positive relationships and social connections.
- Finding meaning and purpose in life
The preferred thing you should do to be happier is to stop trying to measure happiness or look for answers from others.
To cultivate your innate happiness:
Learn to stop and listen to your needs.
Your body and mind (and spirit) can reveal many things about you if you learn to listen to them. You can intuitively feel what’s blocking you from being happy.
You can start learning how to listen to your mind and body by adopting mindfulness and/or meditation practices.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
