7 Expert Answers to Life’s Biggest Questions About Happiness
In our relentless pursuit of happiness, we often find ourselves pondering its true meaning and wondering how to achieve it in a lasting way.
Throughout history, philosophers, scholars, and everyday people alike have grappled with these profound questions:
What exactly is happiness?
Is lasting happiness possible?
What are the requirements for being happy?
In this article, we turn to two happiness experts who provide their insights into seven key questions about happiness:
- Allison Richard, a stress-management, self-care, and corporate wellness coach, who helps people understand the physical, energetic, and emotional science behind their nervous system and repattern their stress response.
- Atte Nissinen, a mental health advocate and wellness expert who helps people overcome mental health challenges, drawing from his own journey from anxiety and depression to lasting happiness.
Read on to discover the answers these experts provide to some of the most pressing questions about happiness.
1. How do you define happiness?
Allison: For me, happiness equals both progress and presence. I love learning and growing so knowing that I am making progress in the direction of my goals and desires makes me happy.
But too much forward looking and future thinking can make me feel discontent with where I currently am, so it also needs to be balanced with being present.
Honoring exactly where I currently am, celebrating how far I’ve come and appreciating all the blessings in my life right now. What we appreciate appreciates.
Atte: Contrary to what we are used to thinking, happiness does not have any requirements. Happiness comes from within. It is your natural state of being – the ”default”.
From the moment you were born, happiness was your natural state. You knew nothing of sadness, anxiety, anger, worry, or depression. As long as your basic needs were met, you were content.
Look at a baby, and it’s easy to see this is true. It takes very little to make a baby happy because happiness is their default state.
But then as we grow, we learn what we think we need to be happy—things like money, education, a career, or a family. In the process, we forget that happiness requires very little external. But that natural happiness remains within you, buried beneath layers of learned thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
When you’re not sad, worried, anxious, angry, or caught up in other emotions, you can return to this natural, default state of happiness.
2. How can you find true happiness?
Allison: By doing the inner rewiring and releasing of any false limiting beliefs so that you can wholly and completely love yourself exactly as you are with the knowledge, on a cellular level, that you are worthy of anything and everything you desire. Because you were born worthy.
Atte: True happiness can be found from within you by accessing the default happy state of being you were born with. From my journey from anxiety and depression to lasting happiness emerged a three-step process for accessing this natural state:
1. Understand what’s making you unhappy: The belief that there are requirements for happiness, the need for external rewards and validation, and stress, anxiety, worry, or any other negative emotions.
2. Change your perception of happiness: Instead of seeking happiness in external circumstances, start cultivating your innate happiness
3. Choose happiness consciously: When you’ve mastered the previous two steps, you can start choosing to be happy regardless of the circumstances.
In short: Change your understanding of happiness from external rewards to an internal state of being, remove blocks to happiness such as stress and anxiety, and then make a conscious choice each moment to be happy.
3. What are the most important things for living a happy life?
Allison: I believe happiness is tied to fulfillment and honoring that we are all connected. Each of us came to this world with unique gifts that only we have and can share with others. Be in alignment with your soul’s desires, give yourself the opportunity to express those gifts and live out your purpose.
These three things can allow you to feel fulfillment on a soul level. And it will always remind you of the power you have, as one individual, to create change, while at the same time keeping you connected to a bigger WHY than your individual self.
Atte: Unless you are a spiritual master content with just being alive, there are two absolute musts for living a happy life:
a) Your basic human needs must be met.
Think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Your most basic needs are physical needs, such as water, food, clean air, shelter from the elements, and so on. You have psychological needs as well such as healthy social relationships, intimacy, a sense of connection, achievement, respect, etc. Your spiritual needs include meaning and purpose, and discovering your inner potential. The more these needs are met, the happier you will be.
b) The absence of negative emotions.
While negative feelings and emotions are an integral part of human existence, they are not meant to be the prevailing state of being. Dealing healthily with stress, anxiety, worry, fear, sadness, and depression is required for your inner happiness to surface.
4. Does the way you spend your time affect your happiness?
Allison: Absolutely! Time is one of, if not THE most, precious gift we have in this life. So I believe it’s incredibly beneficial to our overall happiness and wellbeing to spend as much of our time in the ways that we choose, doing things we value, and spending time with people who are important to us.
However, in those moments in life where we are doing things that aren’t our favorite, there is so much opportunity for happiness in practicing the skill of choosing to embrace those moments and finding ways to bring joy, light and fun into them and those around you.
Atte: Yes, it does, in a deeper sense than you might think. It’s been studied that autonomy, or the freedom to make choices about your life is one of the most important things for happiness. The more you can choose how you spend your time, the happier you will be.
Also, we’ve all experienced how some activities seem to lift our spirits and give us energy, while other activities (or being around certain people) seem to take away our energy and leave us feeling down.
Here are some quick tips on how to spend your time in a way that makes you happy:
– Spend time each day moving. Your body is meant to move and loves physical activity, be it just walking or a good yoga session. This will fulfill some of your physical needs.
– Read, learn, engage your brain. This is required for mental well-being. Your mind will be happy when you use it.
– Contemplate the meaning and purpose of your life. This will help you feel happy spiritually (even if you think that you are not a spiritual or religious person).
5. Can happiness be learned?
Allison: Absolutely. Our parents, grandparents, and ancestors didn’t even know it was possible and spent much of their time focused on survival. Our survival brain hasn’t changed much since hunter/gatherer times and it has a negativity bias because it wants to remember the “bad” things so that it can help us avoid them in the future so that we survive as long as possible. (Give your brain gratitude for this because it is doing its job!).
The fact that we live in a time where we are able to have a conversation focused on happiness is a privilege.
We’ve only recently come to understand the power we have to change the neural pathways in the brain, meaning our thoughts, habits and patterns, even generational patterns, that might not be serving us.
Through the science of neuroplasticity and resiliency practices we can re-train our brain and teach our brain and body to be more resilient, which can help improve our feelings of happiness and overall mental well-being.
Atte: Yes, happiness can most definitely be learned. Research shows that people can actively increase their happiness through practices like gratitude journaling, mindfulness meditation, and regular physical exercise.
However, it’s important to understand that happiness is also an inherent part of your personality—a natural state of being. Over time, you may have adopted beliefs and habits that distance you from this default state of happiness.
So, learning happiness is often more about “unlearning” the things that block your natural happiness rather than acquiring new skills.
6. What quote about happiness best represents your beliefs?
Allison: This is a tough one! As an English major and avid reader I LOVE quotes.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like”
~ Unknown
Atte:
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
– John Lennon
Although it’s likely falsely attributed to John and actually by someone else, I still love this quote and it sums up happiness very nicely.
7. What's your go-to song or movie when you need an instant happiness boost?
Allison: My go-to songs change seasonally. I actually name my Spotify playlists based on the season and year because songs always remind me of what was going on in my life when they were important to me 🙂
Currently it’s “Just Feels Good” by Imani Coppola. But my long term favorite song is “Dreams” by The Cranberries. I love the sense of possibility it always makes me feel.
Atte: I love this question, but my answer is a cliche ”It varies”. However, movies that cheer me up every time are silly comedies, and one that always works is “Monty Python and the Holy Grail“.
Music-wise, being from Finland I love heavy metal. Even though it may seem dark and gloomy to some, it always manages to boost my mood.
About the Author
Allison Richard, BA, RYT, IHC, is a Stress Management and Self Care Coach as well as the Founder of The School of Self Care. She works with clients to help them understand the physical, energetic and emotional science behind their stress response and nervous system and to incorporate holistic tools such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, essential oils and energy medicine techniques to empower them, so that they can respond to life instead of reacting to it, allowing them to create intentional, healthy and passionate lives they love.
Disclaimer
The entire contents of this blog are based upon the opinions of the author. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. The information in this blog is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult your health care professional before trying any of the products or methods based on this content. I cannot guarantee that you will be free of stress, anxiety or depression, or that you will be happy. I simply want to share with you what I have discovered during my twenty years of seeking happiness and what has worked for me may not work for you.
