Gratitude

Gratitude is a shortcut to happiness

Key Insights

  • We often forget how many things we have in life to be grateful for
  • Feeling grateful will help you develop positive thought patterns
  • Break your non-beneficial habits 
  • Meditation is a quick and easy way to truly connect with the feeling of gratitude
  • Integrate gratitude as a part of your daily meditation routine

Gratitude journaling will help you bring positive thoughts to your daily life:

  • Creates a positive mindset
  • You only need 5-10 minutes per day
  • Journal every day for the best results

Are You Truly Grateful Or Just Saying That You Are?

When was the last time you felt gratitude? What were you grateful for? Was it a major event in your life? Maybe you or one of your friends or relatives got through a life threatening situation or a misfortune and you were so grateful that they survived? Maybe you had a child? Think about it for a while.

When you thought of that situation where you felt gratitude, did you feel the feeling now as well? I bet you did (especially if it was a major event in your life). It usually feels as if we were back in that moment. If you didn’t, do you think that if you tried hard enough you could feel the same gratitude even now? What’s stopping you? You may think that the circumstances in your life right now prevent you from feeling that gratitude, but I’m telling you that you are in control of your feelings.

We’ll explore this idea more later on this page. Hold on to the memory of that moment of gratitude you thought of a moment ago, it will come in handy later.

Please note that the emphasis here is on feeling gratitude. It is not expressed just by saying you are grateful and slapping an emoji on your Instagram or Facebook post, like we so often tend to do nowadays.

#grateful.

(jokes aside, it’s actually great to remind yourself to be grateful across all medias you use. Buy those fridge magnet letters and spell grateful on your fridge door. Write it on your mirror. That way you’ll be reminded to be grateful every day.)

How Getting Sick Made Me Grateful

In 2018 I got struck by mononucleosis, a disease inflicted by a virus that causes high fever and swelling of throat. I had a really high fever and could not eat properly for nearly two weeks. I lost almost 20 pounds of weight and a full recovery from the virus took almost two months. After I got better I felt extremely grateful for being healthy again.

When we think about things we are grateful for, we often think of these major events in our lives. Even then, the feeling of gratitude often fades as we fall back into our routines of everyday life. But how about the little things in life? How often do you feel grateful for the fact that you can walk, talk, eat, sleep, or the very fact that you are alive? Ok, now that I mention them, they are not so little things, but you get the point: we often take things for granted.

After I recovered from mononucleosis, I remember how good it felt to be able to swallow solid food again without intense pain in my throat. I was grateful I could eat and nourish myself properly, but after a few weeks, I started to slip back into my routine and began to take food and eating for granted.

It is so easy to get complacent and forget how grateful we should be for everything in our lives. The very fact that we are alive is a miracle of unimaginable proportions. Yet, we take things for granted and forget to appreciate things, big and small, that our lives have been blessed with.

"You will notice that gratitude will bring an overall feeling of happiness with it"

It Is A Good Thing To Experience Bad Things

So why does this matter? What is it about gratitude that makes it so important for our happiness?

If you want to be happier and bring about positive change in your life, you must first learn to appreciate the things you already have. ALL the things. Even the bad ones.

The “bad things” (good and bad are ultimately a matter of perspective) are there for reason. You experience something you would label as bad, because your subconscious mind is repeating negative patterns you have picked up during your life. Subconsciously you are putting yourself in these situations and gratitude can help break the cycle.

It’s a “good” thing to experience “bad” things. This way, you can identify patterns you have developed subconsciously and get rid of them so you don’t have to experience this particular thing ever again. The “bad” things are caused by a subconscious thought pattern you will want to break.

Only if you look directly at, accept and be grateful for what is, will you be able to let go and make room for something better. 

Say: “I am grateful for having this experience, but I don’t need this anymore. I choose to move on.”

Gratitude = Happiness

Feeling gratitude will also give you control. Once you learn to feel grateful, you’ll notice that you can, at will, conjure up other feelings too.

If you are grateful for at least some things in your life, it will become easier for you to accept that it was, in fact, YOU who put them there. The things that are happening are happening FOR you, not TO you. You are the creator of your life as discussed in more detail here (beliefs) and here (visualisation). Again, remember that you may not have consciously chosen the situation you are in, but subconsciously you have lead yourself there to experience just the right circumstances at just the right time.

Even if you don’t believe that things are happening just perfectly for you, claim ownership of everything in your life. Say “I DID THIS!”. This way, you claim for yourself the power to change things. It is much easier to change something you have done, or are doing, than change something others have done. Trust me on this one. Your subconscious mind is a far more powerful tool than you can imagine, and taking ownership of things will empower your subconscious mind to find the solutions to your problems.

Gratitude is a good quick boost for your happiness too. You will notice that gratitude will bring an overall feeling of happiness with it. When you feel gratitude for something, you can use it as a reminder that there are many good things in your life and you shouldn’t worry all the time about the small things that you think are not good. Once you learn how to make gratitude a part of your life every day, you will start feeling happier as well.

Gratitude Journaling And Meditation

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    It's the little things that matter

    I know it’s a cliche, but start by feeling gratitude about the little things in your life. Start small. Especially if you are not satisfied with your life as a whole, try to find some small things every day to be grateful for.

    • Did you eat today? Great! Thousands of people in the world go without food every day. There’s a good reason to be grateful for your food.
    • Do you have a roof over your head? Great! There are countless homeless people around the world who sleep on the streets every night. There are probably some right in your neighbourhood as well. Not all get to sleep in a comfy bed every night. Now there’s a good reason to be grateful for living indoors.
    • Did you drink fresh water today? Great! You can see where this is going.

    The point is, even if you feel like you lack a lot of things, you probably have a lot more than many other people around the world. We’ve grown so accustomed to running water for example that it’s easy to forget why we should feel gratitude for it.

    Gratitude Journaling

    Once you have identified some things that make you feel grateful, it could be beneficial to keep a journal of these things. Writing down just a couple of things to be grateful for each day will help you form a habit of noticing all the good things going on in your life. Pretty soon you will also have a journal full of things that make you feel grateful and going back to this journal might make it even easier for you to realise that things are going well in your life.

    Here’s what you can do: I recommend doing this in the morning to start the day with positive energy, but you can do it before going to bed too, or any other time that suits for you.

    • Think of three things in your private life that you are grateful for.
    • Think of three things in your work life that you are grateful for. If you don’t have a job, think of things that might help you pursue your dream job. For example “I am grateful for all the opportunities that are open to me”.
    • Think of three things in the world that you are grateful for.

    Write the three things in each area in your journal.

    To be clear, you don’t have to do this every day and don’t worry about how many things you come up with. A good strategy to form a habit is to stick with what you are doing for 21 days. After that, it should be as natural to you as brushing your teeth. So try to journal just one thing or all of the things above for 21 days. After that you can loosen up.

    From my own experience I can tell, although I practice gratefulness every morning as part of my meditation routine, even coming up and journaling one thing once or twice a week is enough to keep you in a state of gratitude.

    As I mentioned in the beginning of this page, it is not simply enough to say that you are grateful or write a list. It is a great start, but we can go a bit deeper.

    A great way to practice gratitude is through meditation.

    Now if you are not familiar with meditation, don’t worry. Meditation is not something that only monks in isolated monasteries or mountain tops can practice. Meditation is quick and easy to learn and I will give you all the instructions you need in the paragraph below.

    If you want to learn more about meditation, check out my thoughts on meditation here

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    Take this free course by one of the experts

    "Notice how you could really feel the gratitude? You are in control of your feelings!"

    Gratitude Meditation

    Meditation for feeling grateful is very simple, quick and easy to do.

    Once you become more familiar with this (or any other) meditation, it should become easier and easier to feel the gratitude associated with the things you visualise. You can leave out the part where you connect with the feeling in the beginning of the meditation, but in the first few tries this step might help you actually feel the gratitude more easily.

    This meditation is also a good way to come back to the feeling of gratitude. If you find yourself worried or stressed, pick one thing from your journal that made you grateful and use this quick meditation to connect with that feeling and bring it to the moment of “now”.

    You can also incorporate this practice as part of your meditation routine if you already have one in place. Feel free to modify this routine as you see fit. Also please keep in mind that I am by no means a meditation teacher or expert. This practice is just something that has worked for me and therefore I would like to share it with you. It is a good template and an excellent place to start.

    At the beginning of this page, I asked you to think about a moment in your life where you felt gratitude. Still got it? Now’s the time it comes in handy.

    You can also refer to your gratitude journal if you are keeping one

    Set aside 15 minutes for this meditation. Use a timer on your phone or watch so you don’t have to worry about how much time has passed while meditating.

    Gratitude Meditation

    Sit with your back straight but relaxed

    • You do not need to cross your legs, just sit comfortably - the most important thing is that your back is straight
    • Push your chest out slightly
    • Place your hands on your legs with palms facing up.

    Alternatively you can also lie down

    • Lie down on your back with your feet about shoulder-width apart and arms relaxed on your side with palms facing upward

    Close your eyes

    Breathe deeply in and out three times

    Think about a moment in your life when you truly and deeply felt gratitude

    Take a moment to “take in” this feeling of gratitude

    • Feel the gratitude with every cell of your body from the bottom of your feet to the top of your head

    Hold on to the feeling of gratitude and bring it to the “now”

    • Shift your focus from the past event to the moment of now

    Picture in your mind three things in your personal life

    • Three things from your personal life you are grateful for

    Picture in your mind three things in your work life

    • Three things from your professional life you are grateful for

    Picture in your mind three things in the world

    • Three things in the world in general, that you are grateful for

    When you are ready, slowly open your eyes

    See how easily you can control your feelings

    Notice how you could really feel the gratitude? You are in control of your feelings!

    If you found it hard to feel the gratitude, or otherwise just have a hard time concentrating on the meditation, don’t worry. The important thing is to keep at it. Keep practicing. You will get better at meditating and connecting with your feelings will become easier over time.

    Although meditation is an excellent tool for relaxation, it may help to calm your nerves and relax before you start. Try a breathing technique like “box breath”:

    1. Breathe in for 5 seconds
    2. Hold your breath for 5 seconds
    3. Exhale for 5 seconds
    4. Hold your breath for 5 seconds
    5. repeat as many times as needed to relax

    You can also try a method I have found super helpful, called tapping (EFT).

    Pro tip:

    You can use this meditation technique with other feelings as well. Feeling down? Do a quick meditation and connect with a moment of happiness to bring the feeling to you now. Feeling anxious? Connect with a moment when you felt calm and relaxed.

    conclusion

    A short afterword: From the metaphysical standpoint, feeling gratitude should be pretty self explanatory. If we are the creators of our own reality and the circumstances around us are something that happen for us, not to us, why shouldn’t we be grateful? We are the ones that made these circumstances manifest, or in other words, we have subconsciously put ourselves in those circumstances. They are indeed perfect for us to express and experience who we say we want to be. Should we see the perfection in everything, gratitude would come as a natural feeling.

    But even for the more spiritual ones of us it is easy to get caught in the physical, hectic and stressful, reality and forget the larger spiritual context of things. Our conscious mind loves distractions, therefore we operate most of the time subconsciously. There are hundreds of beliefs we have picked up along our lives that keep us acting the way we do over and over again. Practicing gratitude will help break the negative subconscious cycles we keep repeating.

    In conclusion, it’s a good idea to practice gratitude on a daily basis. You can do that by:

    • Keeping a gratitude journal
    • Doing a quick meditation
    • Remembering moments of happiness and gratitude

    Once you remember how many things in your life you should be grateful for, you will develop positive thought patterns around those things and hopefully find yourself being a bit happier day by day.

    Learn More

    Learn How to Turn Stress and Anxiety into Happiness

      By downloading the eBook you agree to join Happiness On Demand mailing list.

      We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

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